legacy

If I die today
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2021-03-03 06:49:00 (UTC)

beets me

Physicaly I slept well I'm fairly healthy very alive I woke up around 515 and the mornings been smooth. I'm either refluxy or just neasus for other reasons. I had canned beets this morning before coffee (while the press was brewing) cooked steamed beets a little less than a handful I didnt force any more on me than what I could handled. I put away the dte last night its sealed and put up Im off that cant handle but I did take my last dose last night however it was at like 6 then nDea texted me and had sorta an arugment or whatever you want to call it and he was texting me about food and I had skipped dinner bc well I wanted to sleep. Anyhow We went out and got yogurt he offered food I picked yogurt and he tried to stock me on fresh produce but I didnt know what I wanted I was beet so I grabbed bannas grapes and a salad so I had some plain yogurt with the bannana last night around 7 . Anyhow had 2 melation before he called then I had to wake myself up I didnt tell him and so then again after he left I took 2 more. I did run yesterday it was sad interval running there was some wind not major but enough to keep me on edge as far as allergies theeres still construction and so thatll kick up dust too. Also I havtn ran in soo long I didnt wanna push it I was still dragging. Otherwise physcial Idk what to say my teeth hurt. The grinding is moderate Idk what to do. Im planning on gettin stretched around 8 then easing into chores and after 11 I will stop chores no matter what I'm into and go for a run. As for my man its what I signed up for. I knew he had this homebody when we got together he's been nothing but good and genuin but I feel like from what he has told me it sounds like she's mentally abusive and narasitic and IDK I cant help him. I'm just pissed that he accepts that shit from her. If someone is chewin you out and pressuring you and putting you down and all that shit ya leave right? I just dont get why it sounds like he's gonna wait it out for her daughter to get the house and move her in and he's goona wait or her hand n foot. I just dont wanna hear it IDC anymore if shes exhausting him or harrasming him I dont wanna hear it. on some level well I get it look at my ex's if he didnt leave I wouldnt have and theres things I dont know about his living situation and also I knew when I accepted him this is the deal. SO I'm done talking about moving with him and I've kinda accepted im on my own and when he wants to do something he'll let me know he will make the offer but I cant count on someone whos in that situation. I get it thou they have a 25yr history and feeling and attachments dont change just in 7weeks. But I'm tired of seing him beat down and tired and I cant add to it. I think we will someday get married and all that I still love him and he's still m man but I'm done trying to plan our future or rush it. My point was Idc where you live or who you live with but if your going to let someone treat you like shit everday and harrass you for living your life then thats on you. I cant accept or encourage that and if he's willing to comprimise then well he's never gonna get our from under her. He has to want it. So I'm not putting my hear t on moving with him anytime soon. If I die today well for today things are as is. nothing really to share or say out of the ordinary


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