meelife

Living Without Lighting
2021-02-27 09:38:10 (UTC)

Day 1

Day One without weed, retrospective.

After smoking nightly for two months, I managed to gain control of this relapse and am back on the road to sobriety. Here's what I observed after my first night without it.

1:00 pm - woke up after falling asleep at around 4:30 / 5am. Much to my surprise, I was able to say the word "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" without any sort of slurring or stumbling of words. I was very delighted by this.

4:00 pm - after a brief shower, I went out to the kitchen and interacted with family. Despite feeling more coherent, I felt a bit of mental fog, combined with the obvious anxiousness that comes with quitting weed. I spoke low, as if talking loud would further disturb the troubled state of mind I was in.

At Work - Despite my initial fears, my performance at work wasn't hindered in any way. My manager and I dealt with one difficult customer however even then I felt in control, perhaps a little stressed. This has given me hope for the remainder of this recovery process, as I no longer "blow up" like I did when I first quit.

Overall I'd say day one was a success. I still felt the same tiredness that I've experienced since starting, however I'm looking forward to this sluggishness regressing as the THC leaves my system.

GOALS:

1) Wake up earlier day-by-day, with my wake up time shifting back an hour each one. My ideal wake-up time is 10 or 11 on days that I've got nothing to do. In exchange however, I'll have to go to bed earlier.

2) Use exercise as a way to promote dopamine production, as my brain has become all too reliant on THC to produce it.

3) Find side hobbies / activities to replace the desire to smoke. I think this journal is a good start.

That's it. We'll see if this project goes anywhere, goodbye!