Hey, uh its been a while but yk lets talk
im 13 now. Corona is a horrible but it is what it is.
School as changed and yk everything has gotten worse. I dont really know how to explaain it but i'll try. My mental health has gotton worse if we're being honest. Im passing all of my classes for the first time this year which is really suprising. Me and "R" are no longer together. Im actually with this girl abriella now. I dont mind saying names cause it doesn't really bother me anymore. Im pansexual now. (boys,girls, genderfluids, anything basically" im still learning how to love myself, it's pretty hard but im learning too.
I still wanna move out, but the plan is when im 18 and after a couple months after i graduate highschool. I plan on moving to new york to go to college and because i feel that its not to far from home. I plan to move with my bsf and also go to her graduation if i can. I don't have a lot of friends now either. I would say i have a solid 3 or 4 people that i need.
My anxiety as gotten worse. I get a tic from it now. A little head twitch or i close my hand. Talking about it makes it worse tbh. Life is all over the place right now, and i dont really know what to do about it. Whenever something gets stressful for me i just wanna cry, also its very hard for me to cry. I shut down my emotions last summer, meaning that i avoided them and learned how to control them. It as bad. I get mad easier now and crying isn't easy for me. I wish i didn't cause maybe life would be easier now. I have an anxiety attack about once a week. Its usually when i get home or sometime during 5th period.
I also got some new hobbies. I paint more and draw more. Its a stress reliver and its good for me. I also do therapy now. Only because my school is making me or else my parents wouldn't know.
I honestly think this is enough writing for today but i'll be back soon. Or whenever i remeber i have an account for this