struggling married man
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SO I've been chatting with Christine lately. She is the divorced women whom I have had a FWB type of relationship in the past.
We havnt been together in maybe 7 years. (ok not entirely true) She has been with another married man these last 5 years. We stay in touch, and whenever she breaks up with him she will reach out for a pity fuck with me. I think we have met twice in the last 7 years or so for a pity/broken up with her bf fuck. For the last 6 months or so she has said she is done with him, only to tell me she is back with him. Each time she hints on seeing me. With covid that made it hard (no pun). Since Jan we have been talking a bit more and she has NOT gone back to him. She is ok looking. Very passionate and sexual as hell. I'm still at that point where I'm not sure. I struggle with this b/c well she is amazing in bed, she is willing to do almost anything. When we hook up we go at it for the duration of our stay at the motel. Normally 4 hrs. I need that right now. It's been so long since I've had sex. Probably 2 years. The problem is that I'm not gonna lie I feel guilty afterwards, the sex while in the moment is great, but then afterwards as I drive home it feels empty. Like coming down from a big high. So I struggle on actually going thru with it. Like I said we have talked bout seeing each other and soon. I'm not sure if I want to. I mean I want to but then I dont...my struggle to be good.