Pollux

Elysium
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2021-02-23 12:54:08 (UTC)

Bad songs, friendship and rude girls

I love the internet. I love all the experiences I have had here. But it is also the reason I'm angry most of the time. You know one of those pop songs that came out a decade ago but people won't stop playing it and singing it even though it is a bad song? That really pisses me off. I mean yeah people can like shitty songs, I don't give a fuck but the thing is I do because it is fucking everywhere. I can't go anywhere without hearing this song. Even when I'm not on the internet. I have neighbours blasting the goddamn song at full volume. I didn't even like the song when it first came out but now that I have heard it so many times there's nothing I hate more in the world. I can handle cringe. Sometimes it's even funny. But that song is pure evil. It's so stupid that I get this triggered by one song. I wish I could go back to being chilled out again like before.

This is what happens when ignorant idiots get their hands on the internet. They fucking ruined it for me. There was a time when only the cool people were online. I wasn't born back then but I can imagine how great it must have been. Of course things have improved a lot but now everyone's on the net so it kinda sucks. I have to try really hard to find something I enjoy. Even YouTube is so commercialized now. It's just not the same. Everything's mainstream now.

It's just like when people say they love Nirvana but have only listened to Smells like teen spirit. They don't know jackshit. It's not like there's anything wrong with not knowing things. It's the pretending and the dishonesty I have a problem with. I mean I wasn't born when Kurt Cobain died so obviously it's not the same for me and I don't pretend I felt his death because I really don't know him. Reading a person's wikipedia page is just not the same. But I appreciate good music. And I respect him.

So I got together with my school friends on social media. It actually happened during the weekend when I was off social media because I found myself getting angry. So then I find myself part of a group and I got really excited. It's just good friends, the ones that stuck together. There's this one guy who I haven't seen in like 6 years and he is so great. I remember him being very creative but then he started going to another school. And he's exactly how polite I remember him to be. There's this other guy who left after 4th grade so I don't remember him that well. I kinda lost contact with him. He doesn't talk much. And there's CJ, who's the only girl. She kept saying stupid shit but I think she was worried that the group might die so she just said whatever came to her mind. I was trying really hard to be cool but then I realized how mature everyone got over the pandemic, so I dropped the act. Geek is like a whole different person now. He's getting back together with his ex. I didn't even know he had an ex, so he sounded a little offended when I asked him. Frankly I do not know why some of my friends are so eager to get into a relationship because everybody's so young and there's so much to explore. Getting into a relationship would restrict my freedom. Also, I can't be with the same person for a really long time because when I get to truly know people, I end up hating them. I don't hate my friends because I wasted my time with them doing stupid shit so I don't really know what they really are like. Which is why I can tolerate them. But if I start talking to them on a daily basis, I know I will start distancing myself from them which is a big thing because I've known them since I was a kid. We had great times. We stuck with each other through elementary, middle and high school. Even when Geek failed ninth grade. If it weren't for them, I would never have bothered to make friends because of my laziness and cynicism. The thing about making friends is that I rarely take initiative. But once that's done, I keep the friendship alive. Because even when the conversation dies, I can always think of something to say.

Honestly, school's been over for a year and I was getting myself ready to move on. Thought I would "accidentally" lose contact because I didn't want to be stuck in the past. But there's nothing better than talking with them. It always feels the same. And my friends fighting means absolutely nothing because it's always over some stupid shit and an outlet for their attention-seeking behaviour because they're all a bunch of drama queens. They always get back together. And we're still here, after all these years. And that, to me, is amazing.

It's really weird because I'm going to make friends in college and I'll get close to them too and how many close friends can one person have? How will I divide my time between all these people? Also, will it be the same?

Bill Burr did this bit about pretty girls being mean. I dislike Bill Burr, I think he's not that funny, but he's mostly correct about that. Except it's not just pretty girls. I mean I know all girls are beautiful and stuff but this is the superficial, shallow kind of beauty I'm talking about. Like this one girl (who is not pretty) from college who texted me and I texted back and then she just stops talking. No reply at all. That's just rude. She could have made the bare minimum effort of sending a thumbs up emoji. It's awkward now and I keep thinking of writing something neutral to make myself feel less uncomfortable but fuck that because that's people pleasing and I have sworn off people pleasing behaviour. It's not good and it gets you nowhere. And anyways I have WhatsApp girl so I'm not sweating it. But that girl can go and fuck herself.


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