big fat gurl

How I got fat
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2021-02-23 02:30:55 (UTC)

Covid 15?

15 would have been a blessing. 15 would have been normal and average.

Last march this all came out of nowhere and by the end of March I was working from home.
I was pretty much the only one at work anyway and it was kinda stupid for me to have to stay home.
The office has 6 desks and the owner has his own office and my desk is next to a window and not near his office.
All the other people work in the warehouse or are truckers and I don't have anything to do with them.
Breaking my ankle meant staying home anyway. I guess the whole work from home thing worked out in my favor.
the pain killers were a blessing and a curse. No pain. but also didn't give a crap about anything.
The cast kept me nearly immobile. No more walking or gym or hiking or anything.
All I did was lay there with my leg elevated and watch netflix and snack on reeses.
ok. so snack.... more like lived off them.
They've always been my weakness. They a re like chocolate/PG cocaine to me.
AND i never get sick of them.
It's like I don't have a hunger shut of valve for some foods.
When I because aware of how much of them I was eating i started keeping track.
I practically begged for an apple. or a raw carrot.
One day I at 4 4 packs before lunch. That sounds like a lot because... it's a lot.
a 4 pack has about 450 calories and I had 4 of them.
1800 calories before noon... no real food... just junk and I'm still hungry
1800 calories is what i need each day just to maintain.
After lunch more and before bed is the worst.
In one day I ate about 5000 calories in Reeses PB cups.
This happened often and was expensive.
Enter the brownie mix.
3400 calories per box and it was super easy to down one mix in a day.
Of course I didn't do this every day usually 2-3 times a week and sometimes one mix would last two days.
So here I sit day after day and week after week and months just popping pain pills and eating and when the pain got less. I pretended that it was worse and got more drugs at higher doses.
That started the vicious cycle of meds, inactivity and calories and... FAT.
by July I had packed on an average of 1.5 lbs a week. or.... about 20 lbs.
When the docs said they would have to operate again and start the process over it put me in a depression and i left with a prescription for Paxil.
Pain killers and Paxil and People who I thought meant well packed even more weight on me.
I was fat, ugly, depressed, in pain and just didnt care.
5 months later the holidays are barreling down and that means more food.
Did you know that the average person gains between 7 and 9 lbs between Thanksgiving and New Years?
---More on that later.
2 lbs a week. It seemed impossible to blob out that much.
a couple of months I gain almost 10 lbs.
42 lbs in 5 months. I just kind of gave up over the holidays and figured that things would get back to normal and I would be exercising and losing it.... some of it..
60 lbs from the beginning of Covid til Thanksgiving/Christmas.
My New Years resolution was to lose it all in 2021 year.
all 74 lbs of it.
yeah. do the math. It seemed impossible to me too.
Nothing fit. between the weight and my ankle i hobbled and wobbled when I "walked"
I hadnt worn a bra in months because mine were too small... no not just cups... the band felt like it was going to cut me in two.
yes, I know, I should buy them BUT, I was going to work it off and they are damn expensive.
Its been about 11 months since this all started and I'm up almost 86 lbs.
My best friend said that if I top 90 I should just got for gaining an even 100.
Thanks for the well wishes and encouragement in your messages and emails.

I hope you are all well and safe.
Live life to the fullest.