Letters to No One
Dear No One
Had quite the weekend. Nothing was planned and it turned out pretty good.
I suggested a movie night Friday night. You know, to bond with the husband.I bought loads of junk food and whatnot. We agreed on a horror movie marathon. As soon as we pressed play on the first movie, Professor's oldest daughter asked if she could join us. A few minutes later, her 2 sisters joined with 2 friends. Those 2 friends came with 3 boys. I had to go back to the store to buy more junk food, and I made popcorn. We then made a huge family bed in the living room and we watched some scary as hell horrors. Little one, the 5 year old, passed out on my lap halfway through the first movie. Rick scared the crap out of the kids with a gorilla mask when he pretended to go to the bathroom. It was hilarious.
The kids passed out after the third movie, around 2 am. It kinda bothered me that the parents didn't care if their kids slept over at a stranger's house, but I let it slide...this time. I made sure they knew their kids were okay, though.
I woke up Saturday morning with 2 boys and a girl in bed with me.
They all helped me clean up the mess, much to my surprise. Because kids, right? The oldest boy,Evan (he's 15, I think) likes to make coffee, so yeah, I like this little dude. I have to get used to this decaf nonsense, though. Haha
The kids refused to go home on Saturday, so I took them to the beach for a swim. 8 kids? Complete chaos. But they're kinda freaking awesome.
We got back, and the kids still refused to go home. I did not tell them or ask them to go home, I just assumed they'd get bored eventually and go their separate ways, but no. They stayed. Little one asked to watch 'happy movies' and one of the other kids asked me to make popcorn again. It was basically a repeat of Friday night. Kinda.
One of the dads invited us over for a 'braai'
I was exhausted at this point, so Rick went to the braai thingy and took the 3 boys with him. The girls stayed here. Listened to music most of the time, while I disappeared to my room to get some writing done. A few hours later, one of the dads called me and said "Your husband is asking for you." And he sounded drunk.
This dude's house is not far from mine, so I took a little walk. I heard the music long before I got there. They were having the time of their lives. Their wives and girlfriends sat in a little gossip circle 🙄
Some of the guys danced around without shirts, I saw a few of them around the huge grill, and Rick sat with Evan's dad, laughing at another dude. I didn't see kids outside.
This one guy had a huge a plate of food on his lap. His friend told him to taste the food, and another friend said, "Masterchef that shit."
I had no idea what that meant until the dude took a small bite and started talking about the flavor and consistency in his 'masterchef voice'. I swear, I couldn't stop laughing.
After Rick finished his food, we walked back home. Rick took forever because he was seriously drunk.
All the girls went home late Saturday night, but they were back with the boys early yesterday morning. Rick had the worst hangover, so I told the kids to give him hell. They did, and it was glorious. Lol
The kids went home early last night, except the oldest boy and girl, also boyfriend and girlfriend. They asked if they could spend a bit more time with us, so we played battleship until Evan fell asleep. They left after midnight.
My house was quiet today. I literally babysat the whole weekend and I enjoyed it. Believe it or not. I tried really hard not get too involved with their personal stories. It was nearly impossible to keep my inner therapist quiet. But I managed. Barely.
It's like I'm a magnet for these things. All of them, every single one of them had something 'broken' in their life. You get me? Evil stepmother, alcoholic father/mother. Single parent who doesn't give a shit. And so on.
I saw Mrs P today. She thanked me for taking care of her girls this weekend. Things are still kinda awkward between us but I don't care, to be honest.
She said I look different, then she asked if I do yoga. No one knows I'm pregnant, so I just shrugged and said "Not really."
She then said, "I've been doing cunnilingus yoga. You should try it."
Uh..excuse me? Cunnilingus?
I said "What did you say?"
She replied, "You haven't tried it?"
Still kinda shocked, I asked, "Do you know what cunnilingus means?"
Mrs P: "Is that what I said? Cunnilingus?"
After a few seconds of silence, her eyes widened and she said, "Oh my God! I meant Kundalini!"
I almost said that I only do cunnilingus yoga in the bedroom, but I was too busy laughing my ass off. Goodness me!
I've been having some weird as hell dreams lately for some reason, but I'm coping.
Ever had a tomato, cucumber and peanut butter sandwich? Amazing!