my secret life
so you know how i said i unfortunately was in a 3rd party situation and i wanted space from him to create boundaries and like seriously like i had to take the initiative for basically everything because this dude literally agreed with everything i said.Anyways i finally got to clear up everything about our friendship where we want it to be like like yeah we miss each other we love each other we care about each other but for now its better to be just friends but like who knows in the future and id accept that because well he's taken and i said imma stay in my lane and just stay where i am because i don't wanna ruin his happiness basically. but what i really can't believe is that he didn't like me he said he was attracted but i really did feel like at some point he liked me or is that really how he treats each one of his friends? i said that even if i did have feelings i would leave it to myself because i wanna stay in my lane and that would've been a disaster. He said we could be friends for now but who knows in the future and he said he doesn't wanna lose our friendship because ur friendship is rare and i really do agree. I feel like we have the same mindset on things and we both really do reciprocate each others feelings but I'm gonna be honest until he is out of his relationship i don't wanna be close like that because I'm afraid that things might happen again.Honestly I'm proud of myself for saying everything that i have always wanted to say because he doesn't like facing his problems and yeah. Honestly i don't know why i don't believe that he didn't like me like my intuition was saying 50/50 but more part of me thought he liked me hmmmmm i dunno i don't wanna be cocky but idk why i just don't believe he never liked me. He said that he thinks no one will really like him and he gives up and he finds out they liked him and thats probably why he goes for girls under his whatever standard maybe not but thats just my observation it can or cannot be real or true.
anyways we agreed we will always check up on each other and that we will call again soon but we will not be that close. Honestly, he says he's attracted to me but i believe if he only was attracted to me i dunno hmmmmm maybe I'm overanalyzing. But i really am honest when i say that i will stay in my lane and i can't CANT BELIEVE like did i like him first then? like? did i like him and he did not like me back? well it was not a super like but i had feelings for sure. and i just... i really thought he would like me first lmaoaoaoaoaoa idkkkkk but one things forsure i respect myself him and his relationship and i will always be here asa friend but i won't be here unless he loves himself again romantically.