༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
Ad 2:
2021-02-22 18:01:40 (UTC)

Haha Mind Reader!

Well, made my call to PIP, said I was quiet tonight. Just tired. Sick of my cell service dropping. Wondering if there’s an update I missed out on. Will check that later. I know my phone has 64gb of photos on my phone, probably doesn’t help 🤣😂

Was just about to call DD1, and as I’m dialing, got a text.....😂......mind reader.
(Smiles)
He’s off to class so, I’m guessing he is C-19 cleared. Awesome news. Been worried about him. Hopefully his other test issues come back good. Been worried sick about it all. I went through the treatments and would never wish that on anyone.

So, I’m not going to fret about the non call. It is what it is.
I’m going to turn some tunes up, shut my door, grab a shower, and by that time I can grab my medications and crash. Hope to sleep all night, but am not counting on it. I don’t sleep well here. Been looking out continuously and hearing vehicle doors, but no one is there. Just my nerves. Typical. Think I might run a warrant run for Dane county.

The boy made pizza. I’ve decided to eat an activia and eat one of my health bars that only has 2 ingredients. I should be good for the night. Might pour some diet cranberry juice to take my medications with.

So, before I bail for the night.....
I’m going to vent a nightmare......

I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death,
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade,
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me.
I count to three,
One,
I put the blade to my wrist.
Two,
I start to add pressure.
Three,
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop,
But there's no going back now.
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost,
Lost and angry.
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real........


Good night
💋Love, Pinky


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