Street_smart

Experienced Life
2021-02-21 09:31:35 (UTC)

Please don't just sneak away 😤

Woke up from a nightmare again 😈. This one sucks. I usually wake up and those few seconds of realization you're back to real life your brain is reeling from the nightmare being normal again. Sometimes when it's a bad one, your heart is still pounding and the emotion is still there. Yes, you're awake and now very very relieved that the nightmare was just that. However, it wasn't about monsters or ghosts. This was a flashback from the past.

In that dream, I was with my boy but he was skinnier at that time indicating he was between 5-9 yrs old maybe? We were hugging and he was in tears. I told him I'm sorry about what's about to happen and that I loved him. We were in our home. Furniture was missing, the chandalier was missing and these are things that the ex used to do before they'd split. I'd come home to this in the past. House is a mess like it's been robbed and the burglar was rummaging through things but this again was how they used to leave the place in a hurrty before I got home from work.

I'm now awake but still got that awful feeling in my gut. I guess it's because it's happened in real life to me before and it's like a flashback of the past. Now that I'm awake, I can recall some of the real nightmare that really happened to me. Once, I was still in my home. It was a 2 story, 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom home 2,680 sq ft home. Of course, they ex split while I was at work and that was that. I believe I even wrote about it here maybe a decade or so ago.

Anyway, one day I got home from work like I said and saw they had left. Ok, it wasn't the first time and I said eff-it and went straight to my bedroom upstairs to mope or something like that. Late that night, I was thirsty and went to get some water. Walked downstairs. It was dark because I didn't have the lights on but I knew where everything were. I grabbed a glass and stuck it into the fridge door where there was a filtered water system on the outside. All of a sudden, I noticed I was pushing my glass thru empty space. My mind was so used to where everything were but this time, the fridge was gone. The ex wife or soon to be ex wife at the time took the fridge. It was kind of funny actually and I had to chuckle in how stupid I looked pushing my glass into empty space. That's when I turned around and noticed all the food from the fridge was in my kitchen island and all was defrosting on me spoiling. hehe. I did have a 2nd smaller backup fridge and they didn't even bother putting the food there. So yeah, I recall that night many years ago.

Which leads me to today. It must be in the back of my head because I dreamt of it. So people, please please please don't do that to your future ex. It must leave scars in their brain because I still dreamt it just last night. My mind only added the part where my boy was in my arms crying because his Mom was taking him away again. That part I never saw and I don't know how it effected them to this day. I hope they being young helped them heal but I know stuff like that effects them in their later adult years. I know I make it sound so casual but I'm more than done trying to figure out things that I have/had no control over.

I don know why I dreamt about the boy though. FB flashes memories of the past and the kiddos were in it this time. Like I mentioned before, if I see or think about something for a brief few min during the day, that is what I will usually dream about. Keeping it in my thoughts all day? Nope, that never goes into my dream. I wish I could just think about sex for two min and only two min during that day so I could dream about that at night instead. But I am a man and men think about it just a tad bit more than just a few min during the day. hehe 😛

Well, it's time for a quick shower and get ready for a rare Sunday gym class. I thought it was a good idea at the time but now I don't. Sundays are usually my kick back and do nothing day but I thought I'd give today a try. Different gym and the coach holding this class I never worked out with before. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet a new friend.

Oh yea, so summarize things..... Do not just split from someone this way. Do not just sneak out and pack you stuff while he/she is gone so that they can come home to a 1/2 empty house. Don't be a bitch/bastard. That is so childish and really effed up if you do crap like that.

Ok, gott really go now. Need to shower and don't want to be labeled as that "stinky person" at the gym. hehe.


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