Alan T. Fitch

My personal multi-daily diary
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2021-02-18 12:38:42 (UTC)


Hello again!

Me and Mark rowed again yesterday. It was over something stupid again. I won't put what.
At the start, Mark (when he was told) said 'You really cannot live on your own; you'll kill yourself.' But he said another thing that I knew he would say one day.
'You' ll have to live here for the rest of your life.' He said, in a nutshell. I told him and Mum that I was only 15. They said it doesn't matter because they know me. They know nothing about me! Me inside is different to me outside (I am talking myself and how others see me).
Anyway, I was highly offended by that. 'I'll remember that.' I said, quietly. I don't think they got what I meant, but if they did, they clearly wanted to hurt me more.
'Good. It'll stay in your head then!' Mark said.
I was already in my room, with the door open. I closed it.
Mum then called me, and I went to her. I won't put what she said and asked me, but I personally thought she was taking the p###. She said she didn't mean it that way afterwards. But anyway, eventually she told me to go to my room, after me telling her to leave it out as I was still a mid-teenager. I said 'F### you' and started to regret it as I went back into my room.
A few minutes later, Mark stormed in and took the laptop away. Something else happened too, and it was then I lost the plot. I don't remember what. I was also asked to take out the extension lead in my room, with Mark watching. Since I had lost the plot, and wasn't actually aware of what I was saying, I said some horrible stuff. Mark deliberately knocked over my DVD collection on the wall, and I barged him out of my room. I tossed him the extension lead, but I hit his leg, when I was expecting him to catch it. He accused me of throwing it at him.
That was nearly the end of the row. I slammed my door shut, and mentally lost it. I didn't scream or shout, but I did it in my head, also asking myself in my head 'What the fuck just happened?!'
That was it. All over. Well, practically.

For dinner that night, I made myself a microwaveable lasagne. I burnt my mouth a couple times trying to eat it, as I just wanted to go back upstairs. I didn't have any water either, so I just dealt with the burning sensation in my throat.

I went to bed around 8:30PM, more than glad to see the end of the day.

My entry ends here.