If I die today
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2021-02-17 07:08:13 (UTC)

they're outta here

Yesterday was the last day for the druggy freeloaders that landed at the apartment with a birdseye view of mine . They got arrested IDK all the detials but it was like a little after 1pm and the police showed up and 1 officer stood outside my apartment looking intently watching and interested in the balacony above me. But it wasnt until almost 6pm when nDea and eLarie (property management the oiffce) were actually able to get in there and change the lock . I was told the sex offended had a 12year old boy up there with him but IDK then Trac(i)y showed back up just in time for the police to grab her too and there was plenty in that apartment to get them on . So that apartmetn is now vacant . I wonder about retalation but I suppose I can let that go it has nothing to do with me. I worry about nDea but he's street wise and well these people went to jail so I should sorta just chill not let my mind get carried away. In other news its been several days now of headacheish stuff I am figureing out that I am grinding my teeth all day long. ALL day long. I'm not quite sure the cure I may need more reaserch but it hurts. Last night I took a flexirl and melation then my man wanted to come over. this was like 7 and I couldnt deny him so I took a charocl. Then coffee and emernecy all within 20minutes. nDea stayed till around 830 I think it was about 930 I finally fell asleep I didnt get up till close to 6 I'm still working on my low quality french press Folgers black silk precground coffee. After unseloved mysteries the present live eposide on ROKU I will workout classical stretch and maybe cardio IDK about it we'll see how I feel. Im outta routine thou. So I'm actually shocked about the empty apartment I"m suprised and I really wasnt exspecting that I would out endure them but look at this.. I was determined not to be bullied but had sorta accepted months ago I had to move even the police were telling me to move for my safey I think that was in the summer. Anyhow I suppose I can always find something to stress about hence the teeth grinding unless lets say a brian tumor is causing the grind.. Which just let me keep my head in the sand. I dont know the current status of my pituary. I also read theres a connection to acid reflux so things to think about it but I still feel like I have no solid answer other than the most appartnt obvious direction is "mental health" most all information i've gotten online suggest this is mental stress anxiety problem. I made a promise to GOD that I was done with socery and marjunia I liked the tinatures but now I'm like well shit cant I use them to resolve this. I dont need thc thou but IDK I kinda just always wanna be out my mind I'm very discontent. Althou I should be happier than ever I literally have the man of my dreams for the most part. I never knew a realtionship like this and the love I have for him and how he treats me. Its me thou within me theres problems. Kinda a wreck very sad as far as spirtitually. If I die today well its be awesome if we found out the extent of this teeth grinding why and how far it has affeccted me. I'm worried about my sister my mom has told me a few days ago she has like 80lbs of fluid on her. Idk how accurate thtat info is but there could be some truth my sister does retain fluid. IT makes me think of suzie with a z and her cancer in those last days of hers. Crime is always a cocern I guess ive created myself to be a perfect crime victim so its partly self imposed but I'm wanting to change and also I'm literly timid now where in areas in never used to be. Who knows what that says about me but I defintly wouldnt want my neighbors or ex neighbors to get away with harming me if that ever did play out. ITs wendsay but I canceled yLindse yesterday I kinda blamed the weather but IDK I just feel so awkard and dont want to burden her with too much and I really have nDea so imnot helpless about checking the mail. Thank God. I guess theres things I gotta try to workout how to just be a friend and also shes someone Id also want to let know about man. Anyhows not too much as far as instructions if I die I think it's all been said before and i'm tryin to wake up so I'll leave my thoughts at this for now