If I die today
rise n grind
This morning I'm a little flustered about the broken coffee grinder . My new grinder wont arrive till close to the end of the month. So I tried FOlgers black silk in the press and its not quite hittin it for me. As opposed to fresh ground coffee beans I usually do Seatles best. Anyhow irony is on v-day the 14th nDea really wanted to get me a gift so there we were in walmart and we looked at grinders but they were all eletric and I declined I do not need an eltric grinder I like my little manual thing hand held thing It was arund 10bucks last year and so its a few cents a month the one I just ordered is almost 12bucks but meh its what I want. Oh and yesterday I chipped the frame on my washer my clothees washer another manual thing I have so I use the laundry alterative wonderwash washer so Its plastic and the suction cups are the feet so since the frame chipeed I had to superglue back on the foot. The washer is like 60bucks but this is my 2nd one in a year sooo. but the fram is around 17 and I could get help reassembling but meh lets try to save moeny for something.. IDK for what. but today I'm giving myself a pass on laundry so least I can say I waited 24hours for the crazy glue to work and then if I need to fork out some money I can figure out what I need. And my bed is up no company last night so I didnt bother yesterday since he had been mentioning laundry all wekk I didnt exspect him soo I dont have any plans on pulling the bed back out today or tommow but now its a matter of storeing that dam matress topper. my life is a wreck and cheap and stupid and embarssing. IDK maybe I should just say noone is ever allowed in here period and I guess he will get us a place .. or not.. blah.. but even my friends I mean this sucks... Im just disontent Idk why but whatever sooo no shit today.. ha thats great we will see but it might be the coffee shock. my leg still hurts I complete 20min on cardio this morning too. I made egg roll guts yesterady I thought I had ground chicken but it was turkey not heartbreaking but just a suprise when I went to use it but there is chikcen in the freezer I bet but gotta use what I gotta use. so anyhow I got heavy handed on the seasme oil by mistake and I did use fresh onion and bit of of minced garlic a genourous pour on soy sauce point being acid reflux is acting up and started within an hour of dinner. So been thinking if I die ok so lets suppose I have physcial assets IDK what anyone could possibly want but maybe food.. IDK or the oodles of hygient supplies. I cant imagine anyone would want my cheap shit exspecially with the hell i get about its. SO where would I want this all to go. I really dont care but I kinda do bc lets say my husband claims it.. hell thats offensice and due to hoarding idk I tense up thinking of my family claining it makes me nasueases. I dont support chairties in general but have been reflecting a bit on them lately bc well in some ways I have been a recipent of services so I cant say there all a sham and if it was good enough to bless me then its right to sorta give back . Im content with the pregecny center as far as I dont need to give to them. Impact tricities is questionable but I have given back. Southhills church I have never really contrubited back and that would be for the 2 nights in the econolodge or maybe it was 3 idk but in my down and out time. Southside church I havnt either contrubited back to and they were a blessing but what would they do with my crap. I'm soo done with nazerene no interestest in RLB either. As far as calavery IDK witht he thing I got tangled up in and the issues I have there and westveiw gardens I feel like I owe them nothing and that well it would be a misuse of what I have. IDK about indviuals I mean my neighbot nDaw who lives on the opposite side of the office she may be a good person to sorta leave stuff too I feel like she would somehow benifit or make it benifical. Thee things i do have arnt like anything that anyone has ever asked me for. My man well I would rather him than my husband have the stuff but also gotta think whats he gonna do with alll this crap and he gets so much shit from cleaning out people apartments all the time its like an undue burden. Idk its all kinda tricky bc Id hate to desingate it to someone and have it all be waste but I also dont want volchers or hoarders. I guess thats some basic thoughts on stuff. Im not sure exactly whats up today other thaan tryin to make progress in the dinning room. I should charge the vaccum too and take a stab at letting that run around. Probally a few naps and walk outside.. I lead such an interesting life..