༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
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2021-02-16 08:00:34 (UTC)

What do I L❤️VE.....

What do I love about life......

Well, Ms Diary......
That’s not an easy answer. This will have to be truly, deeply thought out, and carefully written.

I love the fact I’m one hell of a beautiful pure soul.
I love the fact I give some people the opportunity to be in my life and except the true deep love I offer that is extremely hard to find.
I love the fact I’m not perfect.

But, this isn’t answering your question, is it?
About life.....

Let’s try this again....

I love......
I’m going to be twisted here and say I must truly love being heart broken.
It seems to happen.
I love the fact I must be an idiot to believe “I’m different from most, I will never treat you that way” because it continues to end in heart break.
I’m guessing the reason I love heart break is it reminds me, my heart still beats and I’m alive.

I love the fact that I’m still in this delusional state of thinking, someone is going to see the deep beauty inside my soul, and treasure it, proudly show it off, protect it, treat it like it’s the most valuable thing in the world.

I’m not sure I’m answering your question.....

But, all these things....
They are....parts of.....life.

I love the fact I dream of being treasured. Cherished. Wanted. Deeply loved. That I could complete someone’s soul. To see that glow and sparkle in their eyes when they see me, that they want to take their warm strong arms, wrap me up, and just make my soul all warm and my heart melt and complete me.

I do know, in life, that will never come true.....I don’t seem to truly complete someone. I try. But, I will continue to try....but as it was said...”I won’t wait forever “ .... I guess I won’t wait forever either.

Life.......

I love the pain and heartache because it reminds me, my heart still feels. It still beats. It still loves. Not for everyone. But a very select few.....who don’t seem to truly treasure it. Sadly.

I love the fact I can still see. Not with my eyes, but with my soul. I see the deception. I see the games. I see the genuine. I see the paths of life. I truly see that I’m brought into peoples lives for a reason, and sometimes, that reason isn’t for me. That reason is for them. They need to grow and learn something.

I see that those who truly don’t appreciate things, it gets taken away.

All these things are life.....

I see myself trying the best I can to overcome the challenges in my life. I’m not bitter. I’m not angry. I still, allow myself to truly love with every ounce of my soul to a select few.

Life......
Being aware of who I am. I know myself. To the soul.
I know I struggle with thoughts because I’m haunted by my past.
I know that even with those struggles, I over come it because, I continue to try and give the purest love to a person. I’m waiting for someone to step up.

Life....
I see the beauty in everything, unlike most.
Even the people in my life that’s caused me to survive certain challenges, I see, some type of beauty.

I have a confession.....I have to be honest....it just hit my deepest part of my soul....
There is, one person, I can not find beauty in......not one ounce. Is that wrong of me? I can try....but, nothing, absolutely nothing beautiful comes to my mind, heart, or soul.

Life....
I love the fact, im not homeless. I continue to sell things I make to make ends meet. I love the fact I have an artistic soul. I let it flow freely.

I love life’s nature.
Life’s ability to continue to rot, but re blossom into something a little more beautiful and magnificent each time it rots and regrows.
I am.....
That life.

So, I love, myself, as I am. Beyond beautiful on the inside and out, like a rose, with thorns (challenges) but if replanted, will continue to grow and blossom with the correct nutrients......
I am looking, waiting, patiently for that final nutrient ..... it’s in my view......

I’m still not certain I truly answered as the question requested.....but, I tried.


I’m getting tired.
My kiddo is up.
I’m going to catch up on some messages, and emails, and all that stuff.....
Get my actual day going. Music will stop my mental madness today, while the fraggle rocks are at work.....singing.....dancing.....and building.

With love....
💋Pinky


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