2021-02-16 10:14:11 (UTC)

20 & 40 Doesn't Match #6

Dear Diary - The day after

I woke with the sun glistening on my face through the open curtains.
IT happened. We slept together. Was I ashamed, hell no. At the back of my head, I knew that it was going to happen.
Yeah, he was older but it wasn't like he was unattractive, just the exact opposite, but i couldn't help the thought, was this it?
Was I just a play thing to him. He wanted to get in my bed all along? Was I just the rebound he was looking for to get over his ex?

Questions, so, SO MANY QUESTIONS, rushed through my head. But I silenced them with two word. It happened. Not like I can turn back time.
Truthfully, not that I wanted to.

His arm wrapped around me. I felt safe. Yes he could be my dad ... not want to think about that right now... but I haven't felt that in a long time.

"Good morning" he mumbles

I made as if I still were asleep. What do I say? Was it awkward? Am I making this awkward?

I quickly shut my eyes when his head lifted the pillow. YES, I FREAKED OUT.
He silenced my thoughts when he planted his lips upon mine.

"Morning" he said softly with a smile, i might add.

I opened my eyes like if I just woke... trying-to-adjust-to-the-light effect. SO STUPID.

"Morning" I replied.

"Want some breakfast?" he asked.

I didn't actually have anything in the house since I was to depart to my next stop in line of work.

"There is a cafe around the corner." I suggested.
DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DON"T LIKE BLOOD JUST SKIP THIS PART, until you see this, "------------------------"
"Very well, then it's of to the shower!" when he lifted the sheets, there were blood stains all over. Yep, I was a virgin no more.
He was speechless, of course. I didn't mentioned it previously, not like I was going to know that we are going to sleep together. Non-the -less it happened. Moving on.
Of course not.

"Does that bother you?" i asked before I can just act liked nothing happened.

He remained silent. He closed the sheets, stood up and went to the bathroom.
I cherished the sight of his ass, YES, as it might be the last sight of him.

I stood up from the bed, walked over to the bathroom. Knocked on the door before I entered.

"Does that bother you" I asked.

'Yes, yes it does." he said sternly.

"Why?" I don't see the big deal in this.

He didn't say much. He was running the shower and stepped in. I followed.
I took his face in my hands as the water drizzled down our faces.


"You could've done so much better. You could've waited for someone you wanted to spend your life with and I took that from you. Why have you waited so long? You could've had anyone? Why didn't you?"

"Well your here." Yes, now, before I actually could've thought of an answer, that spat out of my mouth immediately. "It doesn't matter to me... I wanted it, with you."