Emily

Day In the Life of an American Teen
2021-02-16 02:28:00 (UTC)

Oh my god...

I walked a good 15 minutes to the lake in the snow with Hunter. Fuck. My pants got wet. And I fell because the snow looked like land but it was a big ditch. It was funny though.
The lake wasn't iced over, but it was super foggy. Usually you can see the other shore, I've swam shore to shore before but you couldn't even see halfway. I've never seen so much snow in my life. And it's still going. The bed of Nick's truck is near halfway full. Ellie really likes the snow.

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That was yesterday, but it finally stopped snowing. I'm sort of disappointed. Landon has lice. God. It's just so infuriating. Like why. Turns out my cousins across the street had lice, and just failed to communicate, and let their little cousin come over here to play. Landon and Zach are the only ones who have it.
People kept calling me dramatic because I was putting all my sheets into trash bags and quarantining them, but I absolutely refuse to get it. If I do, I will cut off a good 9 inches of my hair. I'm not dealing with it and all my hair. My hair is too long for this bullshit. It's terrible. I hate it. I hate lice. If they went extinct, nobody would have a problem. How do they support an ecosystem. They don't. Who decided to put them on this Earth.
I'm really so mad at my cousins. They've always dealt with bedbugs and lice, which really sucks, but they fail to thoroughly clean and get rid of them 100% so they always have comebacks. It's just so annoying.

Nick was yelling at me for 'wasting' trash bags because I was cleaning and stopping everybody from getting lice. He has never has to deal with it. His hair is too thin and greasy and he's literally never gotten lice. We all got it once when I was like 10, and he always got to escape because he was always at work. I remember him coming one day, and I just wanted a hug and comfort and I remember he held me away at arms-length and said, "Stop touching me I don't want your lice." Like how Gabe held me away at arms-length just to scrutinize my tits. Funny.
It's not a super big deal but he just never has to deal with it and I'm not fucking getting it again.

Yesterday, I asked Rachel if I could play my ps4 in the living room. Honestly, I just wanted to play Speedrunner because it's so addicting. She said she'd think about it. That was at 10 am. Whenever I ask any follow-up questions about anything ever, I'm either yelled at or told "we'll talk about' literally 6 times. So I didn't ask again. 12 hours later, she still hasn't said anything. How do I win? Instead, she's helping Landon hook up his phone with Nick's VR. It's just always one of my brothers. She always forgets about me. But, of course, I can't say that, because she'll mention the contacts or braces she got me. That I had been asking for for nearly 3 years. And every time I asked for three years, I was told, "We'll talk about it."

I haven't thought about Leo in a while. It just feels like something is missing. I feel purposeless. I hate him. I wish he was less than he is. I wish he was less attractive and less rich so it would be easier to decide that he was a loser of a boy and doesn't deserve so much as even my thoughts. He just doesn't care. I know he's fucking someone right now and definitely doesn't think of me. Though, he told me once that he always thinks of me whenever he plays the video game we used to always play together. The other day, I played it for hours before I even thought of him.
I guess I don't doubt that I'll be over him someday, I just wonder if it's always going to feel like something is missing from my life.




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