If I die today
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Days like today remind me of my hyprocicy. I'm fairly certian Im celebrating v-day. I"m particpating in it I did get us a gift. Its a madlibs- its like love themed or something but its called mad libs after dark so might be sexy. Of course I'm getting a gift but crap I get gifts all the time but yeah were sorta celebrating. I dont wanna be a part of this false idolioship I do not have info on hand about who cupid is or st. valentine but I know its wicked and involves false gods. So what do you do? IDK I need to be stronger figure it out. Ugh I feel gross. I"m swayed thou bc I'm still in puppy love and I love this man and I've never really had a proper v-day before before I know it was wicked n weird n shit. Anyhow so hopefully I wont die today in my comprise but we can olny hope. I can thou make an attempt for the next evil ahead to get some better knowledge to support my stance and maybe share something porfitable with others.. Ive been struggling with a headache that I succome to yeserday probally around 4pm I took my meds for neausa and then a flexiril a single one. so I was knocked out I woke up around dinner time tried to conivince myself to eat or drink water but I fell back out till 4a this morning so I decided to start the day it is Sunday so trying to be quiet and not start chores to early. I'm only doing a light cleanup today bc I'm excepting a date althou I dont know when. Anyhow I'm still butt hurt that noone respects or appreciates my furtinure see if my bed is out nDea will have a hard time bc there "no back support" in any of my furtinuree and hee has a bck problem and if my bed is up well its likely they'll be sex on the couch and fuck man i dont wanna mess with that tryin to get cooridated were just akward togethre on the couch IDK if he knows it but im not a teacher and its so not sexy to have to teach someone the postion(S).. Anyhow i'm sure you needed to know that. Anyhow Other than headaches im pretty much ok I have food I pooped yesterday. I'm back on hemp oil. I think I will pass on drinking today unless he suggest it and at that point I'll try to limit us both bc we dont need it tbh. If i die today well I feel like a wasted failure I still have not reededed the time in my life and I've been quite foolish and very much into just self seeking self sasitying. So IDK what to do with that. but I wish I clearly saw and pursued more oppruinties. I dont know exactly what holds me back but I'm probaly just lazy. Well I guess its time to get on with the day I have a card to write something in to attach to my present for my love.
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