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2021-02-12 15:54:13 (UTC)

sadness always creeps its way ..

sadness always creeps its way back in I don’t understand how anyone could ever love me lol i feel as if i have been removed from my own life... You're not in love with me. You're only in love with the idea of someone who'll listen to your problems and help you solve them. Someone who you can use and throw away. Stop trying to convince either of us that its anything more than that. I’m not a thing for you to use and mess with. i don’t feel anything where love should be. You asked me to love you, and I did, I never made a bigger mistake in my life. You manipulated me into believing there was only you, and that only you cared about me, but you never did. you hid behind nothing but a mask. I will never forgive you for what you did to me. I will never open up and love someone like you again. I don't want the pain you caused me to happen all over again with someone else. I don't need to fuck them up like how I fucked us up. i thought that all these feelings would go away running away often seems like the only choice i’m struggling to see myself doing anything in the future it’s like there is a void attached to my existence.. there’s an anger inside of me and it’s constantly making me want to hurt myself I want to rip out my heart I want an off button :(