2021-02-11 05:38:52 (UTC)

About to snap

My mental health keeps getting worse I’m afraid I’m going to do something I’ll regret it’s not that I do it on purpose my brain is fucked in a way lol teachers will be like i know your guys' mental health is abysmal and you're all suffering and 2 seconds away from snapping and i understand that. but i will do absolutely nothing about it I’m drowning in school my life is a nightmare i've had symptoms of schizophrenia since i was 10 years old and literally no adult took my suffering seriously. now i'm hoping to be able to seek help and hoping to god the psych eventually believes me and doesn't just slap me with a random label that doesn't fit... like anxiety or something... it's so lonely and i feel stupid it’s like asking for help in a void I know myself to know what I’m struggling with it’s just so irrating being seen as faking my symptoms or doing it for attention when I’ve spent countless days scared to leave my room thinking someone is going to literally kill me and seeing shadows and panicking worsening my paranoia I’m so close to killing myself and giving up on all treatment options no one cares to take me seriously anyway :/