Where Pelicans Fly
August 2022 (2)
THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 2022
Tom is out trimming the corner tree by the lanai and living room.
Yesterday I got fed up with the barking enough to message Steve, but as usual, it’s either gone ignored or unseen. There are still a lot of people that don’t know about Facebook’s hidden inbox which really pisses me the fuck off. They now let us choose whether or not to get messages from outsiders, so why not let them all enter the same box and let us decide whether or not we’re willing to see potential spam?
There were two barking sprees that I know of, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more. There were something like 20 to 30 barks both times and he did absolutely nothing to shut the thing up. He obviously cares if it’s heard in his home a lot more than other homes.
I have no idea why, but I received an automated e-mail from Tabitha saying that it would be a good time to get my application going for a house here. Um, hello! I already live here. I just want you to make Steve shut his dog up.
My T4 should now be settled in. I’m not going to start calorie reduction until my TSH is settled in. First, I’m starting with intermittent fasting by narrowing the window in which I eat each day. I’m doing the 8-hour window that Aly once did before she got sick. When she wasn’t sick, she was naturally plump, so she sometimes only allowed herself to eat during 8 hours of the day. I’m going to start with that and then I’ll focus on ingredients and eventually calories. I’m already focusing a little bit on ingredients because I’m not having as much sugar.
If I could lose 40 or 50 pounds, it might really help my blood pressure. Maybe even my cholesterol. Right now, I don’t even see myself losing 10 pounds. I’ll find out soon enough, however, just how doable or not-so-doable it is.
I’m guessing my TSH is a 7.something right now. Still too high to bother with any serious dieting. I start to feel tears of happy and excited anticipation build up in my eyes when I think that the next test could possibly be my first normal test in years...without the epic anxiety. Trying not to get my hopes up too high, but what a thrill it would be to see green! I’m tired of those red numbers signaling that results aren’t normal.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 13, 2022
The night before last I slept 9 hours and got a great sleep score. Therefore I was up later than usual. Last night, however, I didn’t even make 5 hours. Didn’t get the greatest sleep score either. So I’m too tired to accompany Tom on his walk which he’s taking right now. The humidity is lower because it’s been dry. I’m surprised since it is still peak storm season. It’s probably waiting until I’m trying to catch up on sleep before it storms again.
We got a $20 car vacuum and I vacuumed out the car as well as dusted it and wiped off some soda that spilled on the inside of the door.
My Steve paranoia wasn’t unrealistic after all. That old guy probably did see me waving to him too, and if it wasn’t for Toni telling me that some people don’t get the Hooter, I would probably think there was a connection there as well. Had a feeling my message was being ignored and not unseen. Me replying to one of Steve’s comments letting him know I DM’d him and that the message may have gone to his hidden inbox confirmed my suspicions when he ignored that too.
I still don’t get why people can’t handle reasonable requests. Why are they so sensitive and take things so damn personally? A simple “we’re working on it” would have been nice but he couldn’t even give me that much.
So, just like at the other park, someone in the office outed me to him. Or maybe they told him that they got a complaint and he just guessed it was me since Toni probably opened her mouth and discussed the damn dog with him. I was stupid to trust her. I knew it was a bad idea yet I stupidly went and confided in her anyway. That’s my first guess as to what his problem is with me. I don’t think the office said anything to him either way.
I only heard four barks today and I didn’t hear anything the last couple of days, but I’m sure that’s only because I kept missing it. If I’m in my back office with the fan on, I’m not likely to hear it. I would bet just about anything that if the park said people could do whatever we wanted with dogs, and if there was room for it, the redneck-looking bastard would leave the thing outside 24/7 no matter how much it barked or who it pissed off.
I meant to post this a while ago, but then Tom came back from his walk and we started talking. He said that toward the back of the park. Someone was blasting music really loud. You could hear it a block away. OMG, that would piss me off! I can't believe that's allowed and tolerated here. I know I read in the handbook that you're not supposed to have any parties or anything that can be heard inside other people's houses. He said this is the second time he's heard it. It was rock music the first time and tonight it was Spanish music. I'm just glad they're not near us!
The rope isn't keeping the sheets from slipping, so now he got a couple of cheap straps that you buckle. This should be a lot tighter.
I also ordered K-cups, a new body pillowcase since the one I got pilled up big time, and my fourth new nightgown. I got one with green and white tropical leaves against a navy background. Another has a leopard print. Then there's one with shooting stars against a navy background. The one on its way is solid blue. I may get one or two more. The next one I'm going to get is black. I don't know if I'm going to get the gray one. They don't have a colorful variety, but at least they fit in and are comfortable.
MONDAY, AUGUST 15, 2022
In reading around the park group, it seems that there are others that say that the people here don't seem very friendly. That’s exactly what I was thinking. They definitely seemed friendlier at the other park. There were only a couple of people I didn’t like there. The grumpy old man that moved to Arizona and Melody. But I’ve definitely noticed this here, even though we’re not out as often as I was there. I think after you meet people like the scum we lived with in Phoenix, and the dominating tyrant that Stacey was, along with people like Ellie, Donna, and Rosemarie, it’s easy to think Westerners are worse in general.
I could be imagining it, but I get the impression the redneck, my new nickname for Steve because he totally looks the part, doesn’t like Toni much either. I don’t care if he has a problem with me because we came here for the weather and cheaper living, not to score points with the neighbors. I’m just glad that Toni’s so nice since she’s next to us and that no one’s on the other side of us half of the year. Really, I don’t have any hard feelings towards Toni because I knew up front that anything I told her could get around. Still, I miss Bob, Virginia, and the Twenties! Hell, even crazy Dixie was better than the redneck and the honker. I'm not the least bit surprised there are more dogs here since it's more customary to allow them indoors in the east whether their owners are rude, inconsiderate assholes or not.
I’m still going through and posting old journals for future publication. Actually, I’m sharing some now. I’m only doing it here, though. I’m so embarrassed when I think of how into the God fantasy I was in the 90s when I was young, naïve, and a lot more emotional. Things were so direr to me back then. The way I wanted so badly to believe that there was something up there I could pray to for good things to happen. The way I thought it was cursing me in every way possible. Maybe it was, but the fact that I dwelled on and obsessed over it so much makes me shake my head in sadness and embarrassment when I think back to those days. I guess we all do silly things when we’re young.
While I’ve never read or seen the show The Handmaiden’s Tale is based on, it’s kind of scary how life can imitate art. The author was told she was crazy to think that a religious takeover from the right could happen, yet we’re in the middle of that happening. Oh, I don’t know that it will get as far as in the book and show, but you never do know. I think if it goes that far, it’s not likely to happen while I’m still alive. I don’t think they’ll try to run the Jews out of the country, but again, you never do know. I think the blacks will still be the last ones they pick on. Their next target will be the gays.
They’ve been banning books like crazy too, so I think that speech is very likely to be targeted soon enough, but you know what? I’m not hiding and I’m not going to be bullied. I’m not gonna change my life for crazy people/laws. I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone push me around. I gotta live my life and not worry about what may happen because I said this or I wrote that and someone had a problem with it. So yeah, I’m sharing things little by little. I skim the entries and if I don’t see sensitive info, then I don’t care who sees it. So if anyone wants to give me any shit about something I wrote in 1989, for example, they’re on their own. Meaning that they can send all the threats and summons they want but I will always refuse to succumb to that kind of shit. Always.
I had a dream they passed laws restricting women from wearing certain types of clothes. Maybe guys too, but definitely women because my tights became illegal and I refused to give them up and give in to crazy. Years ago I would have said this was an absolutely ridiculous dream that could never happen. Now I’m not so sure. Any country is vulnerable to ending up with the wrong people running it.
Three strikes and you’re out, Nature Sounds! They’re back to being erratic again, so I canceled them for good. I’ll use Sleep Sounds even though it loops every hour. I don’t like their version of underwater as much, so I’ll use either box fan or plane.
This is the second day in a row I’ve been tired. I napped, but it didn’t do me any good.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17, 2022
There really is no winning for women no matter what they do. A whole shitload of them that would prefer not to have to abort in non-surgical ways if they have an accident are running to get their tubes tied. Sure enough, a lot of doctors are arguing with them about it, especially if they're young. It's total bullshit.
Meanwhile, if a guy wants fixing there are no questions asked. Ask me again why I resent men in general.
It's like women just can't fucking win. They're “lazy” if they don't work. They're not with the times if they have kids, but of course they can't get rid of those little embryos to begin with either. Now they can't even talk about abortion without risking being arrested, you have a woman forced to carry a headless fetus unless she can go to Florida, then there’s the parentless 16-year-old in this state that isn't “mature” enough to decide for herself if she should have an abortion, so she too may be forced to carry if she doesn’t find a way to get rid of it on her own even though children should be mandated to abort no matter what because kids shouldn’t have kids. Period.
Sometimes I really think we're heading for a national ban on abortion and birth control, not to mention the shit that may come to the GLBT community and Jews. Even then, where there's a will there's usually a way (to abort) but that's not the point. The point is that they shouldn't have to. Men don’t have to so why should they? With Tom and very few other exceptions – FUCK MALES!
How far back into the Dark Ages do we have to crawl before this insanity stops? Really, how far down into the pit of depravity do we have to sink? How many more lives have to be ruined by people's stupidity and twisted beliefs?
It's been a week now and I still have the perfect manicure and pedicure. Worth every penny!
I don't know if I could do either diet but sometimes I wonder if I might be better off going with alternate-day fasting when it comes time for me to get serious about it. I'm going to have to go to 1000 to 1200 calories a day if I were to eat every day and that's going to leave me hungry as hell. So if I'm going to be hungry anyway I might be better off just not eating every other day and then I can enjoy having whatever I want on the days that I eat.
Again, the people here definitely don't seem very friendly. One woman had an accident and was injured and asked if anyone was going to Winn-Dixie because she was unable to drive. She never got a single reply. But the same person asked if anyone had any decorative vases available and I told her that I did and I even showed her a picture of the vase. It was from my parents. I never use it. Even so, she never replied to me. Are there that many people that know of and are pissed that I'm annoyed by the redneck’s dog or am I just being paranoid?
It is so typical that as soon as I fall in love with a new product at a grocery store they stop selling it. We went to Publix the other day and it was the second or third time they didn't have Chi Chi’s pina colada. I noticed that Walmart now claims to have it but I'd be willing to bet just about anything that I won't get it. I think sometimes they advertise things they don't actually have.
The money tree was starting to look a little shabby and I read that they recommend a medium planter for it which is 6” so we got a set of five planters on Amazon, each a different color. At some point, we'll go to Lowe's even if they make shopping a miserable experience with all the blasting music and pick out some more plants to go in the extra pots. I'm not going to re-pot the Rosemary, though, who also looks a little questionable now. I don't know what it is with me and plants but hopefully they'll both be okay.
Anyway, this is the fourth day in a row I've been tired and I have no idea why. I slept longer even though I woke up four or five times along the way. I did muster up a little energy to hit the road but I can't because my headset can't connect to the Wi-Fi and I don't remember the password. He's already gone to bed.
He got a mesh extender to hopefully keep Alexa from cutting out in the bedroom even though I don't know that that was the problem to begin with. I really think something is messing with my sleep like it always has and therefore it's more connected to that. Not how far the bedroom’s Alexa is from the router or whatever the hell it is. The sound of the mower didn't wake me up today but the smell of fresh-cut grass did. Then I had to pee twice and then it seems like I just woke up for the hell of it. Something up there definitely hasn't wanted me to sleep well for most of my life. Sometimes I wonder if a lot of my problems as an adult have to do with some twisted form of compensation for not having to get up to an alarm every morning like everyone else under 65. I think I'd rather have pain than fatigue at this point. I thought the answer was extending my waiting time before having coffee but now I don't know. If it's my thyroid still not being good, why am I not tired every single day? I've been dealing with this for a year and a half now. Oh, I've had fatigue far longer than that but the heavier fatigue that interferes with my activities has been going on for about a year and a half or so. I wonder if I could have possibly caught covid and I'm having post-covid fatigue. I've heard that can linger for quite a while. I doubt it though. I guess it's just age and my thyroid because there's absolutely nothing to suggest that I have obstructed sleep apnea, cancer, heart disease, or anything else I can think of off the top of my head that may cause this. I'm not malnourished or dehydrated so I don't know what it could be.
So I went premium with Sleep Sounds but the damn tracks are looping every hour and not 10 hours like I thought they were supposed to. If I want to find out if the problem really was being further from the router or if it could be Amazon, I need to go back to using Nature Sounds. At least then I can get my preferred sound and for 10 hours as long as it doesn't cut out.
Surprisingly there isn't a single thing new on the termite's wall. With her profile set to public, I expected to see birthday wishes but there is absolutely nothing. I'm guessing Mark's home by now and recovering there.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 18, 2022
Even though it only lasted half a day, it was so nice to have energy for the first time in 5 days! I cooked, cleaned and exercised. Together he and I also transferred the money tree into its new home.
Only one of the new five pots is an ugly color. That would be the dark gray one. I have a pale yellow pot, a pale pink one, and two green ones. One is a bluish green and that's the one the money tree is in. We didn't realize it was in a smaller container inside the pink bucket it came in. I'm sure it appreciates the freedom it now has with all the extra breathing room. Hopefully, it will grow better.
He got soil especially made for money trees. Plus we got other soil for whatever plants we end up getting later on. I'm hoping to find a plant that does okay in artificial lighting since the bedroom is usually pretty dark. I'd like to have a plant in each room. An aglaonema would look great in the pink pot with its pink hues on its leaves.
We ordered a small watering can that also has a sprayer so I can mist and water at the same time.
Sometimes I don't hear from Jessie for about a week and I wonder why. Nothing seems to be wrong and she checks in every day yet is slow to pick up and respond to my messages. Since we golfed together she hasn't mentioned doing it again. She hasn't told me anything about what kinds of apps she's gotten either. I sent a message earlier and asked.
Damn, do I miss the hell out of Aly! This is purely a dream but if she were to suddenly contact me and say she never died and it was all just a joke, I would be way too excited to be pissed at her!
We ordered some smart bulbs and I got the last nightgown to complete my new collection. I decided to get the light gray. That way I don't have to worry about the black possibly bleeding. I might still get the black one someday so I can have seven instead of six and therefore have a whole week's worth.
I had a vibe about us moving in 2026 or 2027 but I don't know. The horses are still consistent and my gut feeling is still strongly sure that this isn't our forever home but you never do know. Since I can't imagine us ever having the kind of money for a nice house on the beach or a luxury high-rise that was soundproof, I'm torn between going rural vs. staying in a community. They both have their pros and cons.
Oh, of course they want to ban Anne Frank’s book from schools. Like gee, what a surprise these days, right? I saw the headline about a Saudi Arabian chick going down for 34 years for tweeting, and I could sit here and tell you that’s just so damn typical of those countries, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if we eventually ended up with shit like that happening right here with all the steps we’ve been taking back into the dark ages.
The woman wanting decorative vases (Teresa) just now got my message and I realized that it's entirely possible but very unlikely that Redneck wasn't notified of my comment and doesn't know about his hidden inbox.
She’s in one of the new houses and moving Saturday. That was fast. I didn’t think those houses had been there for long. Maybe she considers it her FL starter house like this is (hopefully) our FL starter house.
I’m now scrambling to get done what I need to so I can be a tired waste product for the rest of my day since I’m exhausted from being woken up by a storm. ☹ Really, it’s getting REALLY hard to try to convince myself that this is all just one big coincidence and that there really isn’t anything up there wanting me tired so much of the time.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 20, 2022
OMG, the redneck speaks! He never commented or reacted to any of my posts/comments before (nor Toni’s from what I could see) so I thought he decided he hated us. LOL This was a comment I left in regards to people airing out their park peeves.
“I'm not the type to run to the office to complain unless it's something really big, but what really gets to me is when they tell us what to do as if we're children and they're our parents. Have they forgotten that we're the ones paying them?”
Redneck replied with “could be a democrap thing like wearing your mask when your in your car all by yourself smh”
Maybe the reason he decided to “like” and comment on my comment was that I said I wasn't the type to complain. I purposely threw that in there as a throw-off, too. Maybe he was suddenly like, oh wow, so she wasn't the one that complained about the dog?
Although I still doubt the office ever said anything to him.
Am I honestly the only lib in this park? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the whole damn state.
My lower stomach is definitely flatter. No doubt about it. The cutback in sugar? The meds? Both? I'll weigh in when I get up tomorrow if I remember, and see where I'm at.
Although I'm not as tired as yesterday, I'm still tired. I've only had energy for one day since the 13th. It's obviously not going away, so I just have to learn to live with it. Nothing woke me up but the same thing happened when I woke up to pee and had to Benadryl myself back to sleep.