Where Pelicans Fly
August 2022 (3)
SUNDAY, AUGUST 21, 2022
Nothing but some weird dreams to report. I read an article about a woman who swears she was struck dead by lightning in a previous life when she was 2 years old and that she was “shot" into the body she's in now. The article also talks about how some people believe dreams are glimpses into either past lives or parallel universes. As vivid and as detailed as many of my dreams are, I've often wondered the same thing. It just seems hard to believe the brain can make up so much random stuff but I don't know. I couldn't consciously do it to such a degree while I was awake, so I don't know how my brain does it when I’m asleep.
I had a dream I was in this older-looking house. It was large and set close to others and in the middle of the street it was on. The house itself reminded me of something you would find in the Northeast. It was interesting in the way it was laid out. Upstairs you had a total of four doors, two of which were directly across from others. What was weird was that there wasn't a traditional hallway in between but almost a whole room that was perhaps 12x15.
I had another dream that I wrote something to the termites that they didn't like. They tried to get ahold of me to give me a piece of their minds by sending a message containing some automated thing where I had to request the URL from them in order to read what they had to say.
Then I was horrified because the termite was there in the room with me. Tom was out at the moment and I wondered how the hell I was going to explain her sudden presence when he got in.
The termite’s termites lived just a couple of buildings or houses down from us (I don't know if I was aware of this all along or if I just discovered it). It was night time and I was taking a stroll down the street since the sun had set and it had cooled off. I peeked through their basement window which was lit up. I never did see them, but when the light suddenly went out, I quickly moved along so I wouldn't be spotted.
It was so dark and there were no streetlights. As I walked down the street, I soon realized I was lost and unsure if I was still on my street. I could see the silhouette of the street signs against the night sky, but couldn't read them. Then I spotted some people through a large window. I asked if this was (whatever the name of my street was) and one of them nodded.
So I walked back up the street. I could now make out our place clearly because our bathroom, which happened to be on the other side of the street and only enterable from there, was lit up. The glow of the bathroom light spilling out its door cast light on our house across the street.
Hoping it was Tom using the bathroom and not some intruder, I peered through the door and saw Tom at the sink. At first, he seemed annoyed or maybe disappointed by my presence but seemed OK once he started talking.
In the last dream, we were living in a small building in a rural area. Two-story condos or apartments of some kind. We must not have found the neighbors disturbing because I was dreading the day it built up in the area enough to want to move. When I stood on our upper-story balcony and looked down, I imagined a bear wandering through and climbing the railings and tried to imagine what I would do. I guessed I would run into the bedroom and shut the door and then run into the bathroom that was off of it and shut that door too, then hope to hell I had my phone on me so I could call for help.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 23, 2022
On the way to Howard Beach, even though I’m a little tired and his stomach isn’t the greatest.
Funny how I remembered it was the bigoted Rosemarie’s birthday on the 6th but didn’t remember till today that yesterday was Nane’s birthday. She’s 62 now.
So yesterday on Nane’s birthday, we got four lovely plants from Lowe’s for just $21, a Petra Croton from South India, which likes bright light and is in the pink planter in the living room. It’s a combo with two different color leaves. One has pink lines and the other has white.
Then there’s the Asterisk Ivy from Europe which likes medium light and is in the dark gray pot in his bathroom.
Next is the Green Fantasy Fern from tropical America, which also likes medium light. It’s in the yellow planter in the bedroom.
Lastly is a combo Fittonia from Peru, also known as a nerve plant. Some leaves have red lines and others have white. I actually like the white better because it pops against the dark green leaves. This one prefers low light and is in the green planter in my back office.
We ordered a moisture meter. If I like how it works, I might get more so each plant can have one. That way I don’t poke roots every time I stick it in the dirt.
The combination watering/misting bottle was a joke so we ordered squeezable bottles with a long, skinny spout. The problem with the other one was that as soon as I tilted it to spray the backs of the plants, water would spill from the watering spout and make a mess.
Besides a waterproof camera for the front, since this one keeps crapping out on us, I’m getting assorted scented soap samplers to put in my bath gloves. The scents are African Violet, Passion Flower, Fresh Milk & Shea, Black Currant, Island Ginger Mango, Ocean Pur, Seafresh Mineral, Lavender Chamomile, Cucumber, Pineapple Cocoa, Almond, Rosewater Jasmine, Lemon Verbena, Organic Oatmeal, and Juicy Peach.
Lastly, I got some foot-soaking bombs to put in our electric foot-soaker.
I can’t wait to grow my hair out again! They have this new reverse hair dryer that sucks in hair and straightens it at the same time it dries it. I don’t see myself growing it to the insane lengths I used to have, but maybe to the middle of my back, so almost two years. I have a short back and my hair grows fast, especially when I have enough thyroid in me. I’ll start up with the scalp massages and the gentle pulling to help speed up the process.
I offered 4 diamond paintings for $30 each in the park group. I got 9 likes, 5 comments, and 0 buys. ☹
I also dropped my maiden name on Facebook. I don’t want to be associated with anyone with that name, and it’s too Jewish, especially for Florida. Fucking everyone hates Jews and gays here. It’s fucking pathetic.
Absolute silence from the termite, so I don’t know what to think. Why would this fucking idiot hide her friend list yet post publicly? This exposes at least some of her friends.
At the charger now after what was easily the best beach run ever! Thank goodness for the lady that was already in the water when we arrived or else I’d have completely freaked out. Even he would have been startled. The lady said she went there every morning to snorkel and said six manatees were swimming around us and we were like…wow! They were huge! Manatees are ugly but harmless. They would stick their noses out of the water and blow air through their nostrils at times. They were amazing to see. We both took pics and can’t wait to check them out at home after we eat the burger and fries we’re now on our way to grab from Checkers.
Along with the manatees were the usual fish we’ve seen that feed off of the grassy areas. Plus, there were these striped fish like the tropical fish we saw in Hawaii. I’ve gotta look up what they are. They were bigger than the smallest fish we’ve seen. Tom saw something slither along the bottom but said it didn’t look long enough to be a snake. An eel?
It's a great beach, like I said. Closer to home and never crowded. At least not when we’re there. We were there for about 90 minutes and only a few people were there. It was very quiet and relaxing, save for a couple of annoying motorcycles cruising the parking lot for a few minutes and a few planes, but that’s about it. No screaming kids, no ball-throwing close by, no loud music.
Plenty of loud music on the road, though. It's awful with the way the roads sound like such warzones with all the loud music and motors. Just fucking ridiculous. I don’t understand why this shit is still legal. Come on, politicians! You love to control people’s lives. This is your chance to tell people what to do, so why not jump at such a great opportunity?
Anyway, the lady there also pulled out a scallop and then put it back in the water, saying you can only take them when they’re in season, whenever that is.
We totally love this beach. The only negs are the lack of waves and excess seaweed.
Had a dream that someone broke into wherever I/we were living. I didn’t see an intruder but knew someone had to have been in the place because the blinds were open that I had closed and other things were out of place.
My first thought was to go back outside and call the police, but suddenly I realized I was braless and it bothered me. The dream ended with me trying to decide if I should just call the cops first or take a chance by running in to grab a bra, even if the intruder may still be inside the house.
Back home now and his pics came out shitty but he got some awesome videos of the manatees as well as other fish! One of the manatees had a long white streak we’re guessing is a scar from a boat propeller.
They usually range from about 10 to 13 feet long, I just looked up, and can weigh between 800 to 1200 pounds. They also live 50 to 60 years!
I think the small fish we saw are mullets and the striped ones could be sheep heads.
The goggles we used suck. They didn’t seal completely. I need to remember to take my nose pincher next time, too. We’re gonna get better goggles for next time. The kind with a pipe so you can breathe.
The sun and sea helped perk me up. If only I could walk to the beach every day I woke up tired. Or hang out on a private dock when I was tired at night.
I'm in such a great mood and there are no words to describe how wonderful it is to be able to wake up and not have to worry about the middle of my day approaching, knowing I'd be likely to get hit with anxiety and mindfucked into some very dark thoughts.
Florida is so much more fun than Cali. If we suddenly knew we had to return to our old house and he had to return to the same old boring job where he was overworked and underpaid, we would be so depressed! I was so, so miserable there.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 25, 2022
Today’s storm has arrived. I don’t know if we’ll get as much rain as we did yesterday, but we’re certainly getting thunder.
I don’t like the way my snorkel with the attached hose fits, so we’re sending it back. He likes his, though. It covers the whole face. The problem is that my temple area is so narrow that I have to have it uncomfortably tight in order to get a good seal. Instead, I’m getting a regular snorkel set like what I used in Hawaii.
I also got a set of four tiny diamond paintings with rainbow beads stemming from them that you can hang as suncatchers in windows.
Sometimes the only way to know if Alexa can do something is to just ask her. I switched out my incandescent light bulb in the lamp by the bed for an LED so that the plant on the nightstand can have decent lighting. I told her to turn that light off in six hours and she did! Sure wish she wouldn’t ask and tell me things I didn’t ask for, though. She still does that at times and it’s still annoying. Why don’t people care what their customers want? I guess when you’re as big as Amazon is, you don’t care if you lose some customers because you can afford to.
Went about a week without hearing Steve’s mutt, but I heard it today. Something like 15 to 20 barks. I’m sure he was taking it to the doggy park.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 2022
Hearing the dog daily yet again has me torn between those that believe that complaining only stirs up trouble and those that say that if you don’t speak up, nothing ever changes. The problem is that I can’t get the office to respond to my emails and I don’t want to go down to the office either. I think I’m just going to have to accept that I’m going to have to live with this fucking mutt for many years to come. I’m destined to always have something annoying to deal with. If it wasn’t this dog, it would be somebody else’s. If it wasn’t a dog, it would be something else like perhaps additional motorcycles.
I know it won’t do me any good, but I did post in the park group saying, “Just a friendly reminder that dogs CAN be trained and we do NOT want to hear them inside our houses. If we did, we would have stayed in the mainstream and not come to an adult community that is supposed to be peaceful. Just saying.”
Two people “liked” it within an hour of posting it. So I’m not the only one sick of this shit that isn’t supposed to be in these kinds of places.
I had a horrible nightmare last night. We were talking about whether or not we may move in the future and I was saying that I wanted to take our time and get it right and not settle. Tom told me he understood as we exited some kind of building and walked down a bunch of steps. To one side of the steps were large rocks in which the sea waves lapped. The water surface was a foot below us.
Quickly and without warning, Tom jumped into the water. I froze with surprise and wondered how he knew the water was deep enough to jump into.
A few seconds later when he didn’t resurface, I began to panic. I started shouting his name and then I lost my footing and ended up in the water as well. The dream ended with me shouting his name frantically.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 27, 2022
It’s a dark and rainy day out there. The kind you like every now and then but wouldn’t want every day. The plants wouldn’t want it either. I took the money tree out to get some rain because I read that they like that.
It’s only 78 degrees today instead of the usual upper 80s to low 90s.
We ran out to a thrift store yesterday. Like with Goodwill, you just never know what treasures you may find in places like that. I saw a realistic porcelain doll for $15 that I liked. Just maybe I’ll go back and get it. It was kind of small. I don’t think it was even a foot long. The outfit was hideous, but that can be replaced. We also went into a store similar to Overstock. If I was looking for a large planter, it would be a nice store for that. They had a pretty rainbow planter.
Tom shot a creepy cool video yesterday. There are these bugs called walking sticks. A mama walking stick with a baby walking stick on her back was navigating the side of the house by the master bedroom. Fucking Google won’t let me download it.
The foam lavender-scented topper came yesterday and it’s comfortable. It’s especially comfortable when I’m lying on my back. Feels a little weird at first when I shift to my side or my stomach until I get used to it. I’m hoping it will help with the cutaneous nerve issues I’ve been having. Seems to be helping so far, but it definitely makes me sleep warmer so I don’t need the throw at the foot of the bed. Just the cover sheet and thin coverlet. In the winter, I’ll add the throw. I’m glad I only got the 1.5” because softer just isn’t good when you’re heavy. Back when I was skinny, it was great. I don’t see how he stands his 3” topper. We definitely have different tastes in that we can’t share the same bed, but most importantly his constant snoring would keep me up all the time. All the time we were on the same schedule anyway.
Norma and Michelle were the first to be dreamt about on my new topper. I was telling Norma about my sorry childhood. Then I was at Michelle’s house and I followed her into her bedroom as we were chatting. There were two twin beds and she said something about her husband who I knew slept in one of the beds. One bed had what appeared to be some medical equipment around it and I assumed that was probably her husband’s bed.
Then Michelle and I were preparing to go out walking with a friend of hers. I asked how long we were going to walk, saying that I would prefer not to walk longer than half an hour.
In the second dream, I was in a large hotel or apartment building with long corridors. I had just gotten some treats out of a vending machine when a German shepherd was suddenly standing by my side, eyeing the treats curiously.
“No!” I told it firmly and the dog took off down the hall, much to my relief.
Not far behind it, I was looking for a certain room number that didn’t seem to exist. The numbers skipped the room I was looking for. As I was searching for the nonexistent room, I saw an older fat guy open one of the doors and let the German shepherd inside.
We were packing to move in the last dream. I have no idea where we were going, but I said that it was the last time I was doing it because it was a pain in the ass.
Ended up regretting and removing the post about the barking yesterday. I should have figured as much. Besides, this is a little different than when we complained about the freeloaders of Phoenix. That’s because technically, they really aren’t doing anything wrong. If they left the thing outside to bark for hours on end, that would be different. They don’t let the dog bark incessantly. They don’t blast loud music. They don’t have underage people living there. And most importantly, they’re quiet at night.
Three people “liked” the post. One woman “liked” it and then “unliked” it, I noticed while I happened to be on Facebook. Toni commented, saying that she appreciates my comments, but patience and tolerance is a virtue. They’re not doing anything wrong and there isn’t anything you can do with a yapper, trust her.
Well, patience has nothing to do with it since this dog isn’t going to change. It’s a natural barker. I could tell that the first time I heard it. Steve just doesn’t care to train it. But she is right in that they’re not doing anything wrong since it’s only for a minute or less, one to three times a day.
Then some married gay guy chimes in, saying this one has gone too far and it’s no one’s business what people do in the privacy of their own homes. Then he shares a link to the county’s noise ordinances.
Not sure what privacy in homes has to do with anything but he did have a point about people being allowed to make noise between 10:00 PM and 7:00 AM. I don’t know if it would be “OK” if he were to suddenly have a boom car stereo blasting in and out half a dozen times a day, but he (Jim) was right. It had gone too far and no one wanted to hear it so I deleted the post.
So yeah, nothing does change when you don’t speak up because then you don’t piss people off and risk being spited. It really is better to just deal with people’s shit as long as it’s not literally harming you in any way or costing you money. Yes, the inevitable return of the motorcycle is going to suck but he has every right to ride it as often as he wants.
I’m not gonna leave the group, but I’m going to go quiet for a while because while I came here to live and not to please people, I don’t want to offend anyone either. Besides, as much as people preach forgiveness, people rarely forgive, forget, and move on.
For a minute I felt slightly embarrassed knowing Irma and the honker probably saw the post, but what are they gonna do about it? Come over and give me a good spanking when they return? I don’t have to win anyone's approval. Just tolerate and get along with them and hope they don’t screw us over to the point that we’re forced to fight back in any way. I can just imagine how many people in this park are aware of it, though! It’s a small park even with the new addition, not that anyone’s living there yet. It’s getting close, though. They brought in tons of houses.
I told Jessie that while this isn’t something I tell many people, but when he goes, I go. I was telling her that I could not only not function on my own in such a high-tech world and with a driving phobia, but I would be so miserable without him. She said she would be devastated if she lost David and that if it happened to both of us we could live like the Golden Girls, if not next to each other. That’s sweet, but I would still be miserable and prefer to join my husband in the Land of the Dead. Even if I wouldn’t miss the shit out of him and even if she drove us wherever we needed to go, I couldn’t go into her house and demand she not cook anything smelly while I was sleeping and not do this and not do that so as to help ensure that I don’t wake up. And while she’s not exactly inconsiderate, most people aren’t as considerate as Tom either.
Toni really does love to talk to herself, LOL. So much so that a part of me wondered if she might hear voices, but she seems too sane for that.
“Okay,” she said with determination as I was approaching her yesterday. Then, “I know I have to go back to work.”
When she saw me, I asked if she needed help with anything and she thanked me but said she was fine. She’s gonna be having hip surgery at the end of next month, which will hopefully help her get around better.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 28, 2022
Tom is in bed now, watching TV on his laptop. His sciatica is bad again. We were going to go out earlier, but the store we want to go to is closed. This turns out to be a good thing because of his back. So we’ll go out tomorrow instead. I want to go back to the thrift store and see if that doll I liked is still there. I almost got her the first time around but was turned off by the price. They’re way more expensive than Goodwill. After we left I regretted not getting it so I’ll get it tomorrow if it’s still there. They even had a Paradise Galleries doll that was still in its box. The face was just OK, though, and I couldn’t see the outfit. The only window in the box was where her face was.
I decided the new memory foam topper just isn't for me. My first thought was to return it but then I realized I could cut it into little chunks and make a great body pillow out of it. I might even be able to use some for a head pillow but I wouldn't cut little pieces for that. Instead, I would just cut one big piece the size of a pillow.
I’ve now gone over 2K miles in VZ. I don’t think I’ll be traveling much today because I’m kind of tired. We did get in a round of golf, though.
My schedule has jumped six hours and two days and I'm not sure why it's rolling faster these days but it is.
Out of curiosity, I posted a Happy Saturday meme in the park group yesterday just to see how many likes it would get. It got 8 likes and one love.
I later shared a post saying that with all the depressing news - war in Ukraine, war on women, hate for Jews, hate for gays - it was nice to see uplifting posts.
That only got one love. Goes to show how many bigots live in this park. They’re all over the state actually.
Then I noticed something interesting. When I was checking out who liked what posts/comments, I noticed a couple of hidden likes. if I'm understanding how things work correctly then this means someone has blocked me. I can't imagine who the hell it could be. None of our immediate neighbors have blocked me, the gay guy who hates me hasn't blocked me, and neither has the woman who didn’t like my suggesting debarking dogs. So who the hell could it be then???
Hoping to find out and settle my curiosity, I requested to join the group from Mia’s account and said I was not a resident but was planning to move here yet they wouldn't let me in.
If someone really has blocked me, I can't imagine who the hell it could be. The gay guy hasn't blocked me and neither has his husband who might be the guy I saw sitting in front of the redneck’s place that I waved to that didn't wave back. It's still possible that just because he was looking in my general direction that he might not have seen me. I'm a little surprised a republican redneck would have anything to do with gays if that was who I saw. I know they're at least connected in that the gay guys live near Roy, were close to Roy, and they know that Steve got his dog. The question is how Steve knows Roy. I'm guessing the redneck new people that lived here before it moved in.
It will be interesting to see how we're treated if we ever make it to play bingo.
MONDAY, AUGUST 29, 2022
When we went to the thrift store, I went exactly to where I saw the doll I liked but she wasn't there. Assuming she was gone, I was ready to move on but then Tom said, “Isn't that her?”
I turned around and there she was on the next shelf over. I recognized the dollmaker's name engraved on the back of her neck and uploaded the picture I took of her to Google Lens. Sure enough, the artist made her for Ashton Drake which didn’t surprise me because as soon as I saw her I thought she looked like something they would sell. She’s a 1992 doll that sold for around $70 and that was part of the Forest Heroines series. This one is Cinderella and she’s 15 inches tall. I love the doll but hate her ratty old outfit which I planned to change. I had a spare outfit that fits her. Lavender pants and a white shirt with ruffles at the shoulders and across the chest and a bow at the neck. I chose to keep her bandana on that has a delicate flower design on it.
I also polished her nails red using a toothpick, since her nails are so tiny. In the original photos of her, I could see that she once held a small dove in one hand and a broom in the other. I’ll be getting a small butterfly used for arts and crafts to glue onto her hand.
God, I feel like I’m back with my old MacBook Air whenever I go to launch speech-to-text! It’s been slow to start lately, which is kind of annoying.
Last night we were without power for 3 ½ hours! We were confused at first because although we did hear thunder, it never stormed here. That’s when we started to suspect that there must have been an accident. Thanks to someone in the group, they shared pictures of an accident on a nearby road. We could see the broken fence when we went down that street today. I don’t think anyone was killed. There seems to be a lot of accidents on that road, but then there are tons of accidents all over the whole damn state.
Not everyone here hates me because I was going out the other day when I saw the old couple sitting in front of their place as they often do. From this distance, I couldn’t tell if it was the husband or the wife. Either way, I waved and said hello and they waved back.
One thing I don't get about the God believers is how they claim he gave us free will and that's why he doesn't intervene when people abuse others. Why do people make excuses for not doing the right thing by intervening when we would be quick to want to hang a person who didn't help prevent harm from coming to someone else? So it's OK for him to sit back and do nothing but not for people to do nothing? That just seems a little twisted to me.
It was reliable last night, but the two nights before, my nature sound stopped playing before I woke up. So it’s them turning it on and off and nothing to do with being too far from the Wi-Fi. I figured as much since it was even further in the last house.
I had the weirdest dream last night. The dream had one of those feelings that made me wonder if it was a glimpse into another dimension. We were younger in the dream and had gotten divorced and he moved out of our two-story house, even though we remained boyfriend and girlfriend, so I could sleep better. LOL
He moved into an apartment in a seedy neighborhood. I went over to visit him one night and I could hear the thugs shouting in the streets. He also had a cat.
I told him I didn’t want to actively try to get pregnant, but I thought we should remarry and he should move back into the house. I told him that if he ever had a medical emergency and had to go to the hospital, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to see him as just his girlfriend. I told him there was no reason he couldn’t sleep in the bed when I was up and downstairs on the couch when I wasn’t.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2022
I'm kicked back in bed and enjoying my new homemade pillow. I decided that rather than cut chunks of memory foam I would just take two layers in the shape of my head pillow and make a pillow out of that, and then one layer for the body pillow. I started with two layers for the body pillow but that was too thick. The two layers of memory foam I have shoved inside a (head) pillowcase help keep me comfortable in any position. If I enjoy sleeping on it, I'll get a pillow cover for it. It definitely seems pretty comfortable so far. My feather pillowcase was too high for laying on my stomach and the cotton one wasn't good for my side. Tom helped me put them together today.
His back is better and tomorrow he has a doctor's appointment to get his blood pressure meds refilled. Of course he'll be gone when I'm sleeping. Fortunately, he won't have to see the doctor with shitty reviews because he's out with an injury. I guess he'll be seeing the assistant instead. He'll have to go to the lab as well.
My metabolism is showing signs of speeding up even more and I'm still worried that getting my numbers normal is going to make me anxious. If I could get to October without any noticeable anxiety I would begin to feel a faint shimmer of hope. If I could make it to the new year I would feel moderately hopeful. If I could make it to April I would go absolutely ballistic with joy! A week from now will make 5 months since I've had any significant anxiety. I just had a couple of days where I was on edge a month or two ago. I still find it hard to believe it won't return to haunt me sooner or later. It always does. I have had a few spells in the past where I was able to go months without anxiety over the last 8 years since this shit began. We'll just have to wait and see. I don't want to get too hopeful and think this is it, I finally slayed the dragon.
I was able to peel off what was left of my gel nails today. I'm totally amazed by how long they lasted! Not a single chip. Just some regrowth visible. They were worth every penny. My toenail polish still looks good too. Just a slight chip on one of the big toes.
My fingernails still don't look healthy but I think they're a little better. Well, all except for one. It split down the middle. I have a Band-Aid over it so I don't snag it. I'm still leaning toward thinking it was the powder dip remover that damaged the nails and not the return of the fungus. They're very dried out and rough to the touch. I'll definitely give them a break for a while.
I got up just in time today. Right after I got up the mowers came and then we had a thunderstorm.
I guess I'm liked by everyone here after all because both Steve and Jim “liked” the picture I shared of the diamond suncatchers. LOL
I didn't hear Happy yesterday or the day before, but I heard about 15 barks today. As loud as it is, I'm getting more OK with it now that I've gotten to know Steve a little and his habits. I just hope it doesn't get worse when the weather cools down. If it does get annoying, I have to remember to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace. People want to be able to do what they want. People expect that much, and truthfully, even I would have a problem with complainers depending on what it was about. As long as it’s reasonable, I want to be able to live my life too, so I can understand where they're coming from. If it was off-the-wall shit like in Phoenix, that would be different. There's never any excuse for that degree of noise at any time of day or night.