Nicole

THE DOWNFALL OF MY MENTAL HEALTH
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2021-02-10 19:10:00 (UTC)

theres a boy i like he doesn't even know i exist

i don't mind being not seen but when you have a crush that won't go away it stinks sure we added each other but we never talk maqybe he's already forgetten about me i know im not the most coolest person or popular at all but having my heart broken over and over again is tiring i cried over him on my 16th birthday hoping he'd remeber just maybe it was my birthday i waited for a happy birthday message all day even ditiching a party my sister threw for me i spent the night in tears it was really the worst birthday i've ever had i want to move on but i just cling on to our past convos i can't stop rereading them he';s moved on with his life so why can't i ... i wish common sense would be knocked into my brain he'll never love me i still can't stop fanatzing about this made up version of him that'll he'll message me with some sort of love confession was anything even real to him themore i think about it the worse i feel how dumb do i have to belive i'll meet the one during highschool ive romacistized the idea of being highschool sweethearts with someone i can't face the truth the yearning for somronr to say i love you is strong i'd leech on to anyone who shows slight interset in me scaring them away having bpd doesn't help intsenly relying on my favourite person for happiness isn't the best wouldn't reccomnd i want a healthy realtionship maybe im going to die alone which irnoically is the thing i never want


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