La Flaca

Like a movie in my head

It funny how every time I watch a movie I get this feeling of what my own life would be like on film. I am sure am not the only one that this hapends to. But then I remembered how the las shrink apointment for me went and I laugh my head of of that picture. After an hour and a half talking to her her mouth dropped and she could not belive how much drama I have gone trough. All I could think of was well lady am waiting for your advice you're the expert. And walked out of there feeling just a little less unsane than when I went in. And could not help but smile.
There was a time in my life not to long ago where I had a habit of picturing my self in a 3erd person play rolling my life in my head. And seeing my self from afar. I have to be honest I would feel blessed to still be alive. Maybe it is because I have something more to be part of and I know it is I just wish I knew exacly what it was so I could just go for it.
One thing is for sure I've set my mind to doing only what makes me happy and it has began to have an efect of a larger meaning. Such as I let others handle their own bussiness and I have my own to worry about.
Like for my birthday I am so tempted to go to mexico city and spend the day by myself. But of corse my family doesn't understand that. The only down side is that they are on red light and most places are either shut down or with very stricted protocoles am not about to go there. The other option would be to just get out of town and go swimming but thats something I can do every other day.
I realy hope we can go out to the mountains and rent a cabin aways from the noise and sit my a fire just contemplate natures greatness. Any how am just thinking out loud.