Justwhatever

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2021-02-05 14:14:14 (UTC)

Gonna write my dreams down ..

Gonna write my dreams down because I've had semi-lucid semi-stressful dreams past couple nights. Possibly in part due to kratom dose variations and also going to bed later.
OK I'll be honest. I still wake up with some degree of WD, and yesterday, I was really rattling.

Night before last: I was in a video game world, something made up of wilderness and gardens. I found a hideaway in a cave/abandoned mine kind of area, and there were a lot of empty beer cans, all different types (much like my IRL collection of IPAs and stouts.) I worked on tidying up the cans to be recycled, picking them up and stacking them outside the hideout, but became concerned of my whereabouts being found through this evidence of intentionally arranged cans. Then I think more narratively liquid dream stuff happened.

Then I had another dream where I owned a fruit stall. I went around trying to sell or give away the fruit before it went bad, starting with the bananas because I figured they'd be the first to stop looking fresh by going brown. I think the area was more on the Brixton Market But Giant Like Central London side than the Long High Street* side.
Towards the end, 3 suspicious looking white boys came to my stall and took my phone and ran away. I chased them and managed to catch one - not the leader but quite the opposite, to my unsurprised disappointment - and was able to over-power him and drag him back. (He sort of had a face, from dregs of my subconcious memory. I can think of a couple people he may have been amalgamated from. He was blond, and had a whiny, "chavvy" voice.) Then I realised my phone was in my coat, which was at back of the stall, the whole time.
The "camera" moved to the Iceland supermarket in the back, where a TV show was being filmed. A young black man was getting a cake for some event, like his birthday or a wedding. He looked right into the camera and agreed with some unseen woman's voice/thought that a chocolate cherry roll, a slice shown next to his head, was his favourite/the best. (It did look pretty good.)

(* the Giant Highstreet seems to be an Outdoor variation on the Multi-Story Building sometimes, or a bridge between that or Shopping and Outdoor.)

***

Of last night's dream, I remember getting on a bus (so you already know it's gonna be about something unresolved, but at least with more control than a train dream) and I saw James on it. I was angry, and stomped on and kicked him. He turned to me, with his upset pink face, looking and sounding like a little boy, and told me he didn't want to see me anymore, because I'd attacked him. I told him I wanted my earrings back, and he said he was going to throw them away. Then, vaguely, we both calmed down and I sat next to him and we came to some resolution.

I realise now that it's quite significant that my brain presented him as so child-like, physically vulnerable yet with the fortitude to stand his ground. Those are the main lenses through which I tend to view him lately.

***

Suppose I'll make this public for now. Maybe someone will find it interesting.

I think the more you write down your dreams, especially in detail, the more you recognise the patterns and create a kind of world. Sort of like LSD Dream Emulator. But I doubt many brains would build up a world as set and mapped-out as in that game. But who's to say?


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