Inside Edition & Other Trashy TV
now that I'm back in the states and I've had the opportunity to reacquaint myself with American tv, I must say...it seems to be as trashy as ever.
first off, why did no-one tell me that jerry springer is now a judge? like was that a logical career transition? does he have a law degree? if not, did he get one just to do the show? do you need a law degree to do be a TV judge? I have no idea and I sure as shit am not googling that.
then there's pimple popper md or something like that on discovery. I'm all good with people wanting to gross themselves out but why, why in god's name do you have to show promos for it? it's very kind of you to blur out the images but let's get real, when it's called pimple popper md and some dude with a huge growth on this noggin walks in and the next image is a bunch of blood and pus barely blurred out I can get the idea as to what is or is not happening here.
then there's the one about pregnant teens. is it called expecting? I can only imagine how hard it must be to be pregnant at such a young age, that's not really the issue. the issue is that a tv network exploits these already flailing young adults for their own personal gain. who is watching this stuff about stupid twitter drama between teenage baby mamas?
there is of course the old stalwart 90 day fiancee. a delicate mix of despair and subtle racism. I like how all the Americans think that their relative or friends are being used by some foreign agent. it's especially great when the American is some 300 lb dude who lives in his mom's boyfriend's trailer's basement's doghouse; the entire family has at most 3 teeth between them, they seem to be huffing propane on the regular and then they are CONCERNED that the foreigner is trying to weasel their way into the family. like really? have you taken a look around the world? not as horrible as you may believe.
lastly there is inside edition. I can't believe this thing has the audacity to call itself a news program. first of all, no matter what the fuck is going down, it is a big fucking deal. they hype the shit out of every little thing. "Aaron thought he was going to take a routine morning dump...BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE FUCKING HUGE...you gotta see this shit!" up next on inside edition. "Tabitha just wanted to go to Target to buy some hand santizer, little did she know, because she is a big fucking drama queen...that this would end in a 3 hour standoff with a security clerk who wanted to see her receipt."
did you know that there are an estimated 11,000 injuries requiring hospitalisation that result from snow shovelling? like how god damn stupid do you have to be to injure yourself whilst shovelling snow? at least I learned something from inside edition.