The Life Of Scar Girl

The Life Of Scar Girl
2021-02-03 02:19:52 (UTC)

Started Some Small Workouts. Babysteps.

I had to force myself to start working out today.
This cold weather has really been hard on my lungs and my heart murmur lately.
My breathing especially when I'm trying to sleep has been really weird.
I'll just laying there trying to sleep and will have the most random gasp for air.
It's so weird. I'll just randomly start gasping for air at the most random times.
A part of me almost thinks I have asthma. But I know I don't.
I feel like I'd have difficulty breathing 95% of the time if that were the case.
So I was like you know what. I'm unemployed.. I have no excuse.
I am working out at home. Because well.. no money coming in lol.
I think I may have a found a super easy yet effective workout for my lower belly.
It's easy and I did it twice for 30 seconds each. And I'm definitely feeling it.
all though to be fair i haven't worked out in months lol.

I am also trying to build up my leg strength. My leg muscles are INCREDIBLY week right now.
Im like okay.. if you can sit on your ass for 2 hours playing animal crossing and applying for jobs.
You can definitely set time aside to lose some weight.
I am honestly scared to weight myself lol. I think the last time I weighted myself I was close to 180lbs.
But I know its not about losing the pounds it's about losing the inches. But I know I've gained some weight this year.
Because my lower stomach by where my scar is from my stomach ulcer I have some stretch marks going..
so ya so fun now I have to worry about those lol Even though I never reveal my stomach with clothing.
Because you know how mean people are these days. They'll be like ewww gross a scar.
Even though I know I had no control of what happened to me.

But that's society.
They tell you to love yourself and your body for what it is.
But people still get made fun of for what they can't control.

But anyways I feel a little better today even though it wasn't super hard core workout.
But It made me feel a little better. I'm still trying not to stress over the job situation.
The job market is crap still and will be for a while all thanks to the covid bullshit.
and many more people and businesses are suffering now that Biden is president. *insert eye roll*
Not even gonna get into that in this entry.

But anyways hope you're all doing well.
And let's pray the next time I write in here I at least have a part time job. lol




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