༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻
Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
Finally getting home from my doctor.
Seen two different ones.
I did, get put back on my Valium.
Not my asking.
He just re prescribed it.
Thankful. I know I need it right now.
Will have to call and make another appointment in a few weeks, he’s booked, because he seen a few things that need addressing.
I sadly, had a high BP 150/90.
My temp was 96.4 lowest it’s ever been.
Still have blood, enzymes, protein in my urine test.
Ankles were swollen.
My fast sugar test was 62 (but I haven’t eaten for a day 1/2) And they made me drink some juice.
I had, put on a few pounds, sadly. (Knew that because my size 27 were too tight)
Spent the last of my money getting groceries.
Went to the pharmacy and got my medications. Just have to go back tomorrow or this weekend and grab the Valium.
Other than that, I’m extremely exhausted. The drive was stressful. I’m tired. But, went despite the urge to cancel.
I do have another appointment tomorrow at 3.
For some reason, I can’t get warm. I’m freezing.
I’m a bit lonely. Bites coming home stressed, tired, and have to try my best to keep it together. These are moments that I find myself with “urges” but normally end up sleeping it off.
Missing someone too much.
I want to send a message to someone dear to me.......
My heart beats faster when you are near.
I can not think straight.
I have been blindsided by a moving truck,
that has no tangible substance.
Your soul is breathless,
as that is the feeling I have...
I can not keep up with the dreams
that I wish to make... with you.
The hopes that I want to dare... with you.
Nothing in my life will be the same, ever.
I will long to learn to replay time.
I will build a machine.
I will travel back and forth,
again and again,
replaying every day from the first moment
to the last, even smaller than a second.
The sound of echoes across the span,
angels weeping not with sadness but joy.
They laugh as I dance for God.
I make a fool of myself,
and for you.
I stand on the wide oceans beach,
and am ready to swim.
I stand at the cliffs edge,
and I am ready to fly.
But if I drown so be it,
But if I fall, I die.
I will have lived long enough,
to have loved beyond,
all thought ever possible,
and humbly measured
not by tape or rule,
but of faith,
And I’m off to eat.