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2021-02-03 00:42:58 (UTC)

Lucky Stars

I sat down at my laptop today and ended up writing four pages. By the end of the writing session, the burn in my eyes had eased and the mild choking in my chest dissolved. It was a relief to know I could still write such entries. It wasn't all ranting as I feared it would be, but it was mostly unplanned psychological evaluations of DG. It was supposed to be simply about his tendency to assume authority in conversation, but I know his intentions aren't malicious, and whatever authority he assumes is, in his mind, backed up by experience. Nonetheless, I discovered that everyone needs a much needed vent every once in a while, and to disclose it in private writing helped in my case.

It's inevitable that everyone has his/her own opinion on any certain matter. And it's also natural that given the adrenaline rush from whatever confidence one feels from thinking they have every right to express that opinion will result in an overly confident delivery. And so we end up standing in front of people who managed to accidentally sound like snobs. I let people talk at me for the most part though, either because I enjoy seeing them passionate or because I don't actually care about them being patronizing. It was slightly different when DG did it though. His regard to me as his best friend places some responsibility in me and due to that, I feel that he takes certain liberties, ones which I feel I can't deny. He confides in me and I listen and understand, but it's possible that his feeling of bonding also makes him too eager to "guide" me at times.

I am making it a larger deal than it is. The latest trigger, really, was hearing about how he thinks Of Monsters and Men are bad. The one good song he liked was one I didn't even consider as one of their best. But I accept that we have different taste in things, I just don't always know why I invite others to complain to me. That's a stupid statement, actually. Of course I know.

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