༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

If I Could Turn Back Time

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If I could go back in time, would I reverse my trauma?
Relieve my future self from nightmares and flashbacks?
Would I stop all that happened from happening so I would never have to relive it, because I never lived it at all?

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If I could go back in time, would I take away my self-harm tools?
Relieve my future self from the scars?
Would I stop past-me from hurting myself so I would never have to explain "what happened to my arms"?

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If I could go back in time, would I tell my carers how to help me?
Relieve my future self from the frustration and the anger?
Would I stop them doing everything all wrong so I could be calmer even when my mind with my heart was at war?

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If I could go back in time, I wouldn't do anything at all.
Wouldn't change the way I acted, the way I spoke or what I thought.
Because however painful,
However traumatic,
However soul-crushing,
However difficult,
It is all a part of me.

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So even if I could go back in time,
I wouldn't.
Because to rewrite my past
would be to rewrite myself.
And everything I've ever known.
And I wouldn't ever change it.
Not for you.
Not for anyone.

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A little unsure about posting this one, because my thoughts about this topic change on a day-to-day basis, but I hope it can at least empower someone to accept their past.

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