McEntries

This Is It - 2021
2021-01-31 00:00:00 (UTC)

A Stranger's Birthday

Diem,

Today's the 31st, which means a couple of things.

1. I've now made it a whole month through the year with all my journal entries accounted for. Aside from a couple delays because I've gotten side-tracked, I've been pretty on top of this whole ~journaling~ thing, which is better than I really expected, trying at this again for the first time since high school.

2. It's the birthday of my once best friend. I always thought it was funny - my mom was six days older than my dad, and then I found out I was six days older than my friend. It almost seemed like fate to me back then. To be fair, I really liked her, I'd probably have found anything I could've to make my feelings seem more like destiny. Of course, I was still very young then, and she and I stopped talking over six years ago. That's so weird. We used to do everything together. I considered her as much a part of my life as breathing. And now it's been years since we've even said hello to each other. In about a year's time, more time will have passed since the end of our friendship than the entire length of the friendship's life. It really sucked in the beginning - abrupt ends always do. It was weird dealing with the immediate inclination to send things that reminded me of her to her, the urge to reference old inside jokes to someone who no longer cared. It hurt. And then, eventually, it didn't. That's also how ends go. One day, you realize you're okay without them. I grew into a new person, and ultimately a stronger and more individual one without her. I'm not still bitter or upset or whatever - as I said, it was a long time ago, and we were both so young. It's just an odd quirk, I suppose. We never speak, never see each other. I have no idea what she's doing with her life. She has become yet another stranger from my past. But still, every time this year, I get the urge to wish her happy birthday.

I hope her art is doing well
--M


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