If I die today
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2021-01-31 08:38:06 (UTC)


Still feel like I'm a bit on the low energy side I dont have much and an exsplantion than maybe diet. I've ordered out a lot more with nDea . Also maybe acid reflux bc man that stuff is rough I used to think its a myth but crap man sometimes it seems like its killin me. I am not treating it right now but I do want to start adjusting my diet to something more gentle. There will be a struggle thou until the 6th bc thats when SNAP comes in for me. So till then I'm just tryin to use whats on hand. Althou I have a wonderful man I could ask who would take me and put fresh food in the fridge but thats not nessary as I have enough food to survive on my own for a few weeks with no groceries added so no need to go there. I got some I LOVE you's from nDea last night and before he left like the best hug his arms around my waist from behind so its pretty much going deep. I want him thou I do but I know it looks and appears shady but other than age bc I worry well I'm gonna spend 18years alone after him I think its perfect and honestly who knows whatll happen as we age even more. But I'm not disgraced or ashamed about the age at all. He's perfect and seems healthy. His heart sounds strong to me when my head is on his chest. So yesterday we played scrabble twice. He bought the game at my suggestion we went to Target and got it. I'm thinking thou it could come to one day when I will want to change my adavnce directives and he will be my contact althou thats still a bit downthe road bc I just dont know. Well otherwise not much to note if well I exit the earth but I do respect and consider him influencal and important to me and he should be respected as someone I love.