Do Not Disturb

2021-01-27 19:54:02 (UTC)


Sometimes I wish I wasn't such an introvert then maybe I'll have me some friends. A couple would be just fine.

Guys send my mother friend request every single day and she hasn't accepted a single one of them so.... What am I doing wrong ?

Even my boyfriend has over 1,000 friends on Facebook but I don't even think my cousin and them don't even know all those people or even talk to them. I only have like 271 friends on Facebook and half of it is my family and the other half is from people I went to school with that I didn't even know went to school with but I did and some half are from people I recognize at school and we don't even text like that.

Yes me and my boyfriend text everyday but still I be lonely as shit with nothing to do except work.

I'm planning on getting my own apartment sooner or later.

And even everytime I go to partied I be feeling left out ad fuck. Even though it was a sweet 16 party I didn't even get to take one picture with her. I tried to take one with Grandma but it looked like she just wanted to be in thr picture with her and my cousin.

Its always has been like this with me. Well maybe I do feel better because a couple of other people didn't get to take a picture including my mother, and my brother but I wouldn't think he would wanna take a picture with them anyways. The party was lame anyways. No one was barely dancing but their was food and desserts. My auntie outdone herself.

This year, my 23 birthday will be epic. I'm thinking about having a masquerade ball and hopefully my boyfriend will be their too.

We're also gonna celebrate Valentine's Day together next month. And hopefully to see him this weekend if nothing comes up like he said which it shouldn't. Because I really wanna see him.

I made a collage of the pictures that he sent me and my pictures and I sent it to him and he liked them the other day and so I put it as my my background home screen because I really like how it turned out.

I also had a mental breakdown last night because... Why not ? Like I always do because I'm such a crybaby.

And a lot of stuff just be to overwhelming for me.

My boyfriend told me that our relationship is gonna be toxic because all do is cry all the time but I don't cry all the time. He be on the game all the time and he only calls me at night and not during the day because he be on the game. It's like the game is more important than,me. It feels like the game is more important than me. I mean I wouldn't wanna take him from a hobby that he loves to do. But if I want attention I'm gonna need attention.

Somehow guys seems to make it my fault without saying it.

I just want this relationship to work then, if not maybe I"m just meant to stay single. I love to hard when it comes to relationships and guys don't see that.

- A