Solitary Reaper

Empty From Inside
2021-01-27 09:12:59 (UTC)

Blurred Vision

Unsettled mind, blurred vision, empty heart and so many expectations, what to do and what not. Where can I find calm and peace of mind.
My all day goes in thinking about what I'm doing, What's happening around me, who am I surrounded with? My dreams were always clear but this time I had a dream which was far much better than reality, don't know why but for a moment I wished for my dream to last forever and never to wake up.
It was full of destruction, somewhat gloom and bright red but my heart was as peace. It was calm like never before and the reason was the guy who was beside me. His appearance was not clear but also it was not a familiar face, he wears a calm smile, gentle eyes filled with warmth and as he embrace me it was like I'm some precious thing which belonged to only him. It was gentle touches of his hands that made all my worries to fade away and I was alive again in that embrace. As I was afraid to have a view down an inclined height, He reached his hand out to me and as I grabbed onto his hand I could see my fear of future and present fade away and lost in that moment. He told me to sit there, I was afraid that I might slip away from the inclined floor but then he sat beside me and held me from behind in his strong and warm arms and told me to look up. In that very moment I found my heaven and earth, it was a view of broken destructed city but yet it was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Was it because I never paid attention to thing that it felt beautiful or because the person sitting beside me was the reason I felt that way.
As we travel through that place I can see the devastation of people surviving there that even my own family said that they would never prefer to live in a place and era like that. Their words made a chaos in my mind, making me thing if they are not here then what am I doing there and then he approached me from behind and pulled me close to his chest, his broad shoulder and his arms were enough to hide me from the whole world. It didn't took a sec for me to reply my family that I can stay here forever if he will stay with me.

I don't know who came in my dream or for whose presence I yearned for. Will he come again if I sleep, will he hold me again like he did last night, does he exist in reality, If not can I sleep forever, because I'm afraid what if he disappears again as I open my eyes. I don't want to wake up from that dream, I don't want to go away from him, I wish to stay with him forever. please tell me can he be existing in reality because I'm too much afraid and unsettled now. I don't want to wake up, I just want him to stay by my side and hold me on that inclined floor and save me from falling like he did last night.