PONA

Mental Scrub
2021-01-26 13:18:41 (UTC)

Spoken Smoke

I wish I could peel back my flesh and walk into the world as a skeleton.
The Hawaiians say that your power resides in your bones, but
I just want to shed the demon that lives rent-free in my stomach
The demon that blows ashes and heat into my throat as I’m crying
And makes me choke on the words that might make things right.
I wish I could just stop breathing this beast’s ugly poison
Hanging low like smoke around my head
And filling my ears with
Ugly words that float on the breeze-less air
A dead gale, stale storm that’s killed the tradewinds
Drip, dripping like my tears
Precipitating
All my fears.
I wish I could walk out where the surfers won’t go
And leave a dreadful corpse upon the shore
The dead body of these phantom doubts
Haunting stones and corals and waves
And legends,
As long as it’s not me anymore

I wish I could leap off the island’s furthest point
And sacrifice my selfishness just off the stone tableau
The sole surface for the sacred souls of the ancestors
Could redeem the unworthy sin
In me
Or could just be the end, and that would be enough.

I wish all my wishes would end.




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