Alan T. Fitch

My personal diary
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2021-01-26 11:10:32 (UTC)

Everyone is in a foul mood

Hello.

I didn't do an entry yesterday, because I didn't have time to. And I won't write me proper entry until my parents calm the f### down with nothing.

Oh my God, they are in such a foul mood. I didn't help of course (oh wow, its all my fault isn't it?). I was in a bad mood when I found out that Mark didn't bring the laptop downstairs into the living room, so I went up into their bedroom and went to where it normally was; it wasn't there. Mark said 'Out, Bradley, you know not to come into our room'. I asked where the laptop was, and he said 'Downstairs, and you're not having it yet'. Well, that was a new f###### thing! Mum said when she got up that he doesn't want me downstairs. Tough s###, because I will go down there in the morning whether they like it or not because it is more open-spaced, I can walk around a little bit more and it is more peaceful than my room, especially the silence in my room. Downstairs you have the fish tank constantly making a mild noise, and I like it.
I had a Zoom meeting, which was registration to make sure we were all up. Amazingly, everyone was on there. Got to tell you, though, its no good going onto a Zoom meeting in a unexpressed bad mood to a bunch of people you wouldn't personally call mates. I just call them friends but they are not mates to me. Mum said she is worried about me not having any mates, and she said that is how you get depressed. Oh Goddammit, I am already depressed, so what gives? She also asked what I am going to be like at college, and I said that I have low expectations, because I do. I don't exactly want to go to college, I have to. I have to be in education until eighteen. I told my mum that the only alternative is that I get a job. 'You are not getting a job' she said. F### sake! Do you want me to do well in life? Have you not thought maybe you are the reason you think I cannot live on my own? Oh my God I want to swear and slag her down, but this is a public diary and I don't actually want to offend anyone who reads it. That is why I hashtag the most of the crude words.
Anyway, both of my parents (in a nutshell) are seriously annoyed with me - - for some reason. There is more to it but I will say no more or else I will accidentally derive into writing my true feelings.

I am sorry for this, I will write an entry of my day yesterday and today later today. My entry ends here.


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