A man's descent into madness
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2021-01-25 20:03:13 (UTC)

Alienation Part 0: an Impromptu Introduction

What started out as a small thought experiment discussing how my own feelings of existential alienation formed has turned into an autobiographical novella. My high school English teacher used to get on to me for "disorganized thoughts," and that was sadly something that has not changed. My thoughts are still unorganized. So in the event some hypothetical reader actually takes a look at my block of text, I figured I would make a quick guide to clarify any disorganization issues that may arise.


2011- I started writing in the journal I was 19 years old, I transferred from 4 year university to a local community college after not being able to afford to support myself. I had my first relationship with Stephanie starting in Nov, 2010.While attending community college, I was working full time for my friend Robin at his janitorial company.

2012- Just after my graduation from community college with my 2 year in history, I decided to home and move back to Louisiana a second time. I illegally stayed in Stephanie's dorm room for 4 months until we were able to afford an apartment. After two months of applying for jobs daily I finally found gainful employment working nightshift cleaning floors at Walmart. Due to my depression, I began to abuse alcohol. Stephanie broke up with me November 2012 and kicked me out of the apartment. I moved back home,

2013- I manage to obtain a job at home at a hospital doing the same type of work that I was doing before, overnight floor cleaning. I drank daily, several suicide attempts by overdrinking. July 2013: I got a temporary job as a civilian contractor at an army base in Louisiana. I move for a third time, this time the town was 50 miles south from where I was staying previously.

2014- The short term contract ended and I came back home. While I did save just enough money to get out of trouble with student loans so I could return to school, managed to blow so much money on booze it was unreal. One last suicide attempt on 4/16/2014 and I have not taken a drink since. I started going to AA daily and began to work for my friend Robin again. Started the online BGS program at A&M Texarkana.

December 2015- Completed my undergraduate degree with the BGS degree with business and history concentrations.

August 2016- After 9 months of aimlessly working at my pre graduation jobs I took a 9 dollar an hour mental health tech job at a drug rehab

January 2017- Quit the drug rehab and began working at the psych hospital

August 2018- Started the MSW program

August 2020- Finished the MSW program

September 2020- Finally was able to start my job as a social worker

I also figured I was going to add a list of easily mistaken characters

Mam and Pa- Paternal grandparents, when I was growing up they lived on a cattle ranch about 15 miles west of my hometown. Pa owned a construction business and was involved in local politics.

Granny- Mam's mother, my great-grandmother, she was pretty much the biggest parental figure in my life outside of my mother. She lived on a small patch of dirt raising donkeys about 10 miles east of my hometown. Granny was raised during the great depression, worked in manufacturing during WW2 a real life Rosie the Riveter.

Nana- Maternal grandmother, she lived in a mobile home on a lake in the absolute middle of nowhere about an hour north of my hometown the next county over. Nana was a nurse aid and worked as a sitter for wealthy people in Dallas. She was extremely religious and grew up on a sharecropper farm.

I will make better descriptions another time, this is just a super rough overview in case anyone ever reads this.