My first smoking story, welp I tried but I have no one to tell this story since I am pecfect christian girl with 3 holy bibles and I will never smonk:
So I have this desire to smoke even if I haven't even smoke, I must blame the genes for this. like whenever I listen to music, I keep smoking oxygen pretending it was real smoke and it always have felt really comforting but now thinking of this, it was no different than the inhale, exhale meditation technique. Well a day later, my friend asked me to go outside and catch up, I told her my crazy stories and she told me her crazy stories, I never told her my dark fantasies as I sensed her vibe as too pure for that kind, she resembles a young girl who wanna act like an adult so you know, acting mature and all that, don't get me wrong if she wasn't like this, she would be not nice to talk to, I guess we can call her mrs. cupid, since she knows how to give advices but can't really take it herself, like a cupid who can shoot others except herself. Well mrs. cupid feels inadequate of herself with having a relationship with older guys, saying they are on a different mindset na. Which is understandable but not really
you wouldn't really feel inadequate with someone who balances you out so it might be the insecurity talking to herself. I think she got blinded by insecurity before even giving him a chance but I said to her we are too young we'll find another guy, which is me trying to make her feel better. Well she's talked to a lot of boys none she have ever regretted so he might have stayed in her mind because there is nothing much going on in her life. Hours later, I casually said "wanna smoke?" she looked at me with those glittering eyes saying "yeah" well we're young and curious lol
we both a matchbox since we don't have a lighter and we kinda hid somewhere with no humans, it took us 10 lightstick to light a cigarrette and we were just laughing at how much we suck at lighting, we both never tried smoking. I tried to inhale it, I thought I was gonna cough but no, I am a pro at this, The whole time I was just wow smoke, it felt menthol-ly on the throat and I can feel the nicotine having a party down there but nope I still felt nothing, I wanna be a cool person so I did the nose trick and my throat didn't like that and for the first time I started coughing, so yeah nothing happened during that time but when I got home I kinda felt really lightheaded and don't really know what I was doing but I felt like I can do anything and was just saying random things to people that I have absolutely forgotten by now, I think i've sent this guy the anal rape song and saying that would be good as our bgm sex music lol. I'm kinda scared because that's not weed, what happens if I did tried weed?
so final verdict: I will try that expensive air again, I wanna try smoking and jerking off they say it feels really nice.
I wanna get rid of this freaking accent in my head, it's making me bad at english, I'm not that bad at english but if I start to hear that accent my english skills gets really worst. It was this personality I created out of insecurity like I try to be those cute, naive asian girl so people will talk to me lol. I've gotten bored with that, I miss bullying people on the internet and talking to much older people, I think around 25 and above, they know like 25% of theirselves and that's what I wanna know to humans, younger people are just dopamine talk and I can only talk to them on a certain mood. but guys close to my age aren't that bad, it's nice talking to someone who you doesn't feel horny around you:D