chae

from my heart
2021-01-20 01:34:30 (UTC)

circle of life is circle

1:34 am

today i am ready for bed at 1:30 am. i am very pleased. im so proud of myself. i would sleep at 5 am every night and wake up at 11:56 am every morning. this is the first night where i dont feel like im being stabbed in my heart before bed. the first night where my heart feels blanketed and kept safe.

i hope that tomorrow when i wake up, i am not hurting. but if i am hurting that will be ok too because i will take care of myself and be kind to me.

i lost a lot of weight. i think i weigh like 90 pounds. i have struggled really hard to eat well since the break up. today i tried to wear my ripped jeans but it was so big on me. i really want to gain weight again. specifically on my boobs and butt LOL.

im really proud of myself tonight. i really want to protecc myself from now on. i dont want to let people hurt me.

im happy with who i am because i know my intentions are pure. i learned something about myself today. i learned that i love myself best when i am loving others too. and one day i hope that i can learn that i will be able to love others best when i can learn to love myself too.

life is a cycle. what goes around, comes around.

im glad i took responsibility for my actions today. i have accepted that i am not responsible for other peoples actions. all i have to do is focus on me and mind my own business

i did the right thing for me today to let go. i finally can let go. i can finally be free. all i have to do is walk the other direction now.


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