Nihilist Cowboy

A Sick Man, A Spiteful Man, An Unattractive Man
2021-01-18 20:26:09 (UTC)

Reflection exercise 4: Institutions

According to Michel Foucault, we are dominated by institutions and power structures which have come to shape our decisions. Are you aware of these structures? What areas of domination do you see in your life? In other words, what are you bothered by?

Can you resist or counter this domination? Where does your freedom lie?

Without getting too political, I think that many people are not aware of the influences that these institutions have on their thoughts. A very recent example is last week's Capitol attack. While I have the technical free will to get in the truck and go to DC and act like a fool, but why would I? Radicalization is an extreme example of an institution controlling your will. Are they aware?

An example that is not violent (but probably even more controversial) is the traditions of weddings, in particular wedding rings. I have read that expensive diamond rings were not the thing everybody did to symbolize their marriage. Apparently, expensive wedding rings came to be the thing the majority of people in the West used to symbolize their marriage came about less than 100 years ago after a one of the biggest marketing campaigns by the De Beers corporation. Does this knowledge mean that all of my coworkers with the huge diamond rings made the decision to buy one because of a multinational diamond mining corporation made a marketing campaign in the 1930s? I do not have an answer to this, but I am sure anyone can come up with their own conclusion.

Speaking of marriage, I can remember getting into an argument with a boss back in 2013 over marriage. This guy was a Baptist minister and he told me one day that marriage 'was always between one man and one woman," and "homosexuality is unnatural." I responded to his arguments reminding him of the ancient Greek civilization's much more open view of sexuality. Male Greek's often took a male lover, this was "normal." In high school, many of the "manly" guys became obsessed with the movie 300. People would say that 300 was the perfect embodiment of masculinity. I wonder how many of those guys would think the same if they knew the differences between what the Greek's considered as masculine compared to the view of the cotemporary Southern conservative male?

Another closely related is example that got me thinking of a conversation I recently had with my therapist. She has a son the same age as me who lives in a big city up north. According to her, her son and the people in his social circle have views similar to mine. Late 20s, early 30s and not just focused on marriage and kids. This is in contrast to my social circle, almost everybody I know my age are married or have kids. Our these decisions that people make based solely on free will, or are major institutions involved? I once asked my mom why she believed the Baptist Church was the closest to truth? her response was "well, thats what I grew up in." I responded with asking her if she grew up in another faith, would she believe that faith to be truth? She responded with "Probably."

I cannot say if other's decisions are based from their free will or if they are influenced by a power center. I can say that my personal views have changed when newly exposed to other's views. At one point I was very conservative and refused to listen to the other side. During my last semester in undergrad, after the summer camp I mentioned last time closed for the season, I was moved to another worksite. I was sent to do groundskeeping work at the new outdoor mall that was built that year. I worked 6 hours a day driving around in a golf cart throwing the trash from the bins in front of the stores. Because I had no supervision I would cruise and listen to the radio while working. During the entire span of being at that worksite I listened to Sean Hannity from 2-5 daily, then listened to a comedy show based out of Dallas from 5-7. At home, Fox News was always on. I believed we were the "Real Americans" and that it really was us vs them. My grad school program was very left leaning, I am sure every social work program is, it just comes with the job. Just hearing the other side made me realize that I was extremely wrong in thinking it was us vs them. Over time my views started to moderate.

The lecture before this discussion had an emphasis on institutional racism and alienation etc. I honestly cant say I have had any experience on the receiving end of institutional racism, sexism etc. I am a brown haired, blue eyed, heterosexual male living in the South. I have seen discrimination, many of the nurses I have worked with either came from the Philippines or West Africa. I have heard an asshole psych patient tell a nurse to "go back to their country" on several occasions. I always say that the reason why I am here is because of somebody fitting in. My dad married a woman because it was what was expected of him and it took until I was 22 before he was able to come out as gay due to the fear of being discriminated against by my grandfather. So my thoughts of alienation are nothing compared to their stories.

I have always felt different. During adulthood, I have felt somewhat alienated due to growing up in a low socioeconomic status compared to most of my coworkers. Maybe it is a combination of everything including differing values, growing up poor, and other factors that makes me feel the way that I do. The stereotypical middle class life always felt unobtainable to me, and maybe now that I am actually no longer living check to check being broke that I see the vanity in it all. Living to get married, have kids, buy a suburban house with a 3 foot yard, and trading your Nissan crossover in for a new one every 2 years just does not seem like a fulfilling life. Maybe I am wrong, I dont know but shit. Then people constantly tell me that I will change my mind, I really don't think I will. Get me a >1000 sq ft house out at the farm and I will be just fine with that. Make your own journey in life, don't keep up with your "friends" on Facebook and Instagram. Learn to not care about what others think.




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