my f*cking diary
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2021-01-16 07:06:32 (UTC)

shit day

Dear Diary,
today was fcking shit yes i know its 11am and my day barely just started but life just hates me for some reason i wake up i guess like at 10 am or 9 i cant figure out and i just sit in bed my dad enters the room usually he would wake me up but today he just stared at my charger that was connected to my laptop that was in my bed he figured that i stayed up using my laptop all night ( well if my phone wasnt broken i couldve used that instead of using a whole laptop) and he left i heard him talking to my mom in the kitchen about me staying up well i did stay up but my sleep schedule is atleast better everyday i used to sleep at like 1 am including school days and wake up late to class but now i sleep at 11pm and wake up just a few minutes late and i only stay up at friday nights. anyways after their talk that i had to hear my dad came escorting my mother to my bedroom
he pointed at my charger and my laptop and left with my mom i woke up after he left cuz i didnt even want to look at him i ate breakfast and sat on my desk i was debating with myself if i should do my home work or play some games but its a saturday and apparently i got school tommorow and my assignments are piling up even looking at them was stressful enough
so while i was working on a homework my mom came in to check if im playing and i guess i made the right choice by doing my homework after handing it in my mom entered the room and told me " dont blame us if we ( my parents) send you to your home country you and your brother ( older brother) arent working hard enough ( in school) you just play all day and stay up" well sure she said that but most of it wasnt true i talked about my sleep schedule above and i play everyday thats true i even PLAY while online classes are going on but i do it for a reason im not a nerd neither am i failure i get decent grades and the first semesters report card was actually good i got good in maths and all sciences and second language but got a bit bad in commerce and computer science and english. my brother too gets decent grades even though he plays everyday the thing is we dont work hard enough to statisfy them they want us to be perfect religious and smart nerds who play only once a week and read text books in their free time that would sound like hell i try my best in exams and if their not satisfied i dont know what to do anyways back to my convo with my mom
i got mad when she went on with her lies it was annoying and i hated how she mentioned that shed bring me and my brother to my home country and help my grandfather or something with whatever the fck hes doing i dont have a fcking dumb future living the worst life i just want to be normal i get decent grades that 70% of my class doesnt get im smart but im lazy true and i believe that i would be successful and if my parents dont believe that im fine
they dont know my true potential they judge the bad things about me but never look at the good things yes my family may not be that rich but still theyre only probaby sending me to my home country cause they think im a failure and that all their hard work trying to get me through college and school and whatever wouldnt be worth it well i do think that sending me back to my home country is only my moms idea but she may encourage my dad to believe in that idea too and when he does it would be a problem i think the rest of the day would just be me sitting in my desk doing a couple of assignments and just playing some games for a bit of time

heres a piece of advice
a report card cannot decide my future its just a piece of paper showing how hard you worked for an exam it never shows how smart you are just how much information you sticked in your brain

anyways thanks for reading have a good day