Who am I

Discovering Me
2021-01-10 23:50:26 (UTC)

I don't want to be all ..

I don't want to be all gloom and doom all the time. I want to have peace and happiness. I don't have that today. I didn't sleep at all last night. My sadness has carried over from my phone call with R yesterday. I thought that I had no more tears to cry, but they just keep coming. I am second guessing everything about myself. I know that is a symptom of gaslighting, but I still can't help it. What if I am the horrible person that R thinks I am.

I wish there was just one person in my life that truly had my back. One person that would just sit silently with me right now and just be present. It's my own fault. The life choices I have made brought me here.

I am convinced that earth is either purgatory or hell. It has to be. Either that, or I did something so horribly wrong that my karma is fucked for the rest of my like.




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