I know I'm not the only one who has difficulty trusting people right? I'm sure most of us have been in relationships that has changed the way we trust people going forward into new relationships or even friendships. I've had some suckish things happen to me and It takes me a really long time to trust someone completely. It's not only relationships though, friendships can mess you up too. I remember back in high school, my first love and one of my close friends hooked up. That would mess anyone up. The guy that I dated after that turned out to be a liar and a cheater too and when I met this guy I had just healed from my previous relationship. It's just been down hill from that. I don't want to question someone and think the worst when something happens but my god it is the hardest thing to deal with ever. I always try to believe in the positive side of things first before the negative. Sometimes it's just really hard, especially when you have been through people betraying you and making you look like a fool while also claiming to love you and be true to you. I've thought about this many times, maybe I'm just suppose to be alone. I have never been with anyone who I can say made me feel at peace with them or made it easy for me to trust them. They usually show their true colors and then I'm out. I've never been a sucker for punishment and I'm not about to start now. Imagine going through life and never finding someone you can be totally and brutally honest with? It's tiring. I'm ready to settle down and find someone I trust, someone who gives off that energy and doesn't make me question where I stand with them or what their intentions are with me. I want a love so rare and pure that we never have to question each others loyalty or love for one another. I can't seem to find this. Maybe I'm asking for too much because every single person I have had in my life has let me down. I have been praying for this love for so long, I have been wanting this kind of love for so long that when I meet someone and we get close I end up making excuses for this person but the truth is I haven't found anyone that is willing to give me what I'm willing to give them. It is quiet sad.