If I die today
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2021-01-07 07:04:44 (UTC)

There goes my hero

Life's rough. Actually awful I'd never intentoally choosen to endure these years given a choice I'd just as well not be born. But isn't that some sorta pardox? Well Here I am so well I'd take it quite personally if someone stripped me of life and well I seem to be over the whole self extermantion thing . Basicaly accepted jokes on me I'm probally gonna be the one person that lives on on and on on and lets say for a just cause I get my head axe'd off well I'd be running around like a chicken with no head bc thats life my life no escape. Looking back how did I get here how did I survive. It seems like even from really young I may have had people in my life who influenced me more than we'll know probaly protected me from fully being devoured . Then people that had a hand in my character development. There the sorta obvious people those who come to mind easily so I'lll spare the mubo jumbo and point out the less obvios people who can look back at say what the.. Where did they come from and why? So for starts I want to mention Miss Widington from the time out room at school ok so widington was one lady a teacher the lady I want to mention was in high school wiggins Miss wiggins I look back now and I think she was a christian. Okay so I have to mention my sister suprisies me alot and has been there thru some suprising things despite her own stuff going on. Then there's Eric epierc from hyalic clinic he was a CA too but I think he may have been christian or something he behaved respectfully and was an honroable man. I have people to point out but a lot of them sorta turned on more had some sorta falling out so I'm racking my brain for the most pure relationships. Amber and Angie never wanted anything from me they actually cared and liked me the way I was. Benjamins is an obvious right? alis Toner was a great friend and impact. Suzie. I feel like there musta been transist drivers who influenced me but IDK what to make outta all that noone in partuclar is on mind. Sherri Thompson never judged me always loved me and was a good friend very humble and strong lady. Then there was hotel life at Days inn a few of their staff there was really good to me. Pretty accomadting and also just nice to get to know. aJessic has been there for me just been there being her and no exspections just she wants to love she's a great friend. of course we have anne lindsey the frequenly mentioned ppl in life. Lotsa people have housed me for a minute 2 or whatever how long but can't say that didnt all blow up wouldn't be much pure about those contacts and poeople who just kept wanting to get me out of thier hair or find my parents. Edith from Mirrior was a pleasent suprise turns out I hadda friend there I didn't know about or reconise till well it was far to late. amarth Fclif's sistster is a light. Theres also one neighbor here Dawn she's a sweet lady very quiet but she seems like a cool lady she minds her own business thou for the most part but she's neat. She's quiete and humble. I cannot go without mentioning Tebitha and her assistant reyaln my medical providers have been more than graceful and enduring with me and they actually care even knowing that i'm a psychopath or something they thought I desereved to be treated as a human and they even acklowledge between us the blackballing that happens to me in the medical system. These girls gave me hope and care. Also Tabitha got me into that home the adult family home that blew up in my face.. bc well I guess I screwed up? anyhow thou had I not been there I woulda never gotten off the street and it served as my safe haven and when I left there there was no return to the streets. So that was those days in october in 2019 that I was waiting on SSD to kick in but had no income and no housing. Anyhow they say to it after that doctors appointment that I did not go to the streets that day. Then the home gave me to boot on halloween and well at that point funds were in in just a nick of time and ya know what thank God i didn't stay at the home forever anyway bc this life woulda never been possible I would have never gotten to this level of function. Tabitha and Raylen are good people still my careprovider just the home I had to rant on . Anyhow therea lotta contacts in my life ended in resentment and conflict and all that stuff so it's a hard filter thru and I really don't have it in me to mention just random single deeds here and there unless they were major. and Also a few people I feel specially those who are in my phone with thier info saved if I die I think it's a given to those who want to need to know that those people had a hand in life.

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