Angelix

Silent Screams
2001-10-11 01:38:49 (UTC)

Crumbling

wellz i started this new diary to help me vent out i mean
im used to just exploding once in a while after i can't
stand it anymore u kno? but i figured dat i need some help
well either this or therapy cuz basically i can't handle
some of my issues anymore. here's the retarded part bout
all this, i don't even know what my issues are anymore ive
swallowed all them up to the point where i can't remember.
I've just resulted into a thought that...im a downfall. im
just that one thing that gets looked down on because i
can't do anything right. it blows on how i think this cuz
it's prolly not true but it sux on how dis is da way i
feel. Soo many ppls go thru crap for the sole purpose that
i can't deal with my emotions. i wish i knew how to control
dat it jsut ahh...im just weak now and sooo used to goin
thru my "stages" dat i don't know how to cope or find
different answers to dealing wit my personal pains. i mean
i have had the thoughts of sayin bye bye to it all and
times i have tried but basically, there's gotta be
something stopping me cuz i haven't succeeded. u kno? so
hopefully i figure ish out. cuz i do'nt wanna get to that
point AGAIN...damn, i just need a hug i think. Just need
someone to tell me they'll be dere for me. ah watever, dat
person has da same chance of coming as da chances of me
magically never feelin depressed.




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