If I die today
2020-12-29 07:51:27 (UTC)

mind forever

I guess if I should pass today I would remind the world of something the Fullerton informer mentioned on youtube this week. The body will perish and pass but your mind is forever. .. now my own thoughts. They it the world whatever this life is in the physical cannot take your mind this world can't have it. I just watched the matrix for the first time last night but.. there was some drinking anyhow I picked up on few things there and yeah theres a little bit of truth in every lie. Theres a little bit of truth in every joke too btw and whatever doesnt make ya laugh will make you cry. Theres no gettin out of this world physically alive but your going on. So gaurd your heart and mind is true. Time olny goes in one direction. Today take back your mind hold strong live what is true what your believe become it live it let the physcial not define you. Be who you are. Live on forever. Let the world not discourage you so much in the physcial that you willingly sacrifice your mind. I'm trying myself to figure the escape from drinking my next planned drinking is NYE of course bc well I'm still slightly afraid of being alone here but I'm also just sad and feel like a failure and unloved but I have to sasify that and heal it.. Well in my case I have to let the LORD heal that to save my soul and mind.. and here I am wrestleing it still. But the things that lead the choices that hurt the mind and soul are up to me what I hold on to what I value. Which is why forgivness is so important to free the mind and lets face it carrying the pain hurt and bitterness wouldnt hinder who I am if I could and would forgive and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot I regret a lot of my own failures and relationship disfunction was my own fault who I was not who I'm becoming or want to be. But by the time I started curing myself its too late I lost a lot of good people. Althou some realtionships thank GOd didn't prosper and lets be honest I've had unnessary people in my life and I've had people in my life I dont even like or want. I just wanted to attention and the idea of love and the idea that i'm valuable and successful. To that extent yes I even took adavatage of retarded people in my life to have the appearnce of who I wanted to be instead of actually working me I found an easy way. I also am in a hurry and convience is a thing. I deserve a lot of those failures. So defining what holds value is up to you. Who you are and what lives is up to you. You can hold a situation or offence pleasure or joy or you can kill it, let it die or fight for it against a life robbing you of whatever but the mind has to choose.