Karma Rose

My Secret Thoughts
2020-12-28 06:00:56 (UTC)

The Graveyard Cleaner

Dear stranger,

I told each of my brothers this: "I'm doing a paper on neet culture and I have a few questions for you. First question: Are you proud of being a neet?" They gave me a smirk, obviously didn't answer me (since I was joking) and was laughing the whole time about it. That was the funniest part of my day and even now I'm laughing about it.

Watching the shows "Alice in Borderland" and "Sweet Home" (I love this show and hope there is a second season! Nathan thought it was kinda lame at the end and didn't like the inconsistencies) makes me more grateful to living. I don't have to worry about playing some game that I HAVE to win at in order to continue living. There's plenty of time for me to read all the books I want to read, and watch all the movies/shows that suit my taste (romance and horror all the way). Plenty of time to pursue my dreams- whatever they are- I have no idea. I don't have to worry about monsters invading my space, eating me and dying a painful death. I'm just so grateful for all this time, Freedom, Life and Liberty hahaha.

Currently, I'm reviewing the book, "Getting from College to Career" and making the necessary adjustments to my life. I read the book in the perspective of someone pursuing a career as a law enforcement official. Now, I'm looking at it in the perspective of a financial professional and am actually using tips that I didn't use before (they didn't apply before). Everything is so new to me, but I have to start somewhere so why not now. I noticed that a lot of offices are closed at the moment until January, so I'll have to do research, have my questions ready and find people to answer my questions (which I was going to do regardless). I already have a mentor in mind- the director of SAIL whose also a professor to graduate students in finance. She's known me since I was a freshman and knows of all the things I've done at the university, as well as what I've done off-campus. She knows my effort... and also, she's the only finance professor I know at the moment lmao! In a way, I'm kinda glad for this break.

I painted my nails today to a baby pink color with my left, ring finger-nail having a metallic grey color. The first coat of baby pink looked like I just smeared cum on my nails. On the second coat, it looked like little pearls were on my fingers. People used to say that I looked like my late grandmother on my father's side because of the beauty of our faces and our height. She wore stockings and dresses all the time- now, I'm doing the same. I wonder how alike we look now. I look forward to going to my late grandmother's grave, cleaning her grave and cleaning the other graves in the cemetery. Sometimes, I wonder if there are elderly who visit the graves in my grandmother's area, but they can't clean it because they're just so old, don't have the equipment/materials, they have a physical/mental disability, or the grave was just forgotten. Also, it makes my grandmother's spirit look good in front of all the other spirits and I imagine the spirits telling my late grandmother what a good granddaughter she has. Hehehe giving my grandmother some street cred. Man, how I miss cleaning those graves. That graveyard is in Mexico and it's been a long while since I've been there. Gosh, I look forward to going there again to MY home, the graveyard, the plaza, and checking up on a guy who I'm interested in- lowkey, I kinda hope he doesn't have a girlfriend, so I can kinda make him hangout with me the whole time while I'm there. I heard he asked about me when my family went over without me (I had other priorities at the time), but I'm sure he asked about me out of respect. I wouldn't mind being with someone like him- he's a man that people in our town in Mexico respect. Hmmm. I joke to my family telling them that he'll be my boyfriend for when I'm Mexico, I'll have a boyfriend at my university, another boyfriend where I live and another boyfriend in Long Beach. LMAO. I'm kidding obviously. Men are too draining- especially the emotional ones (acting like I'm not emotional). *sign* I'm just curious about him.

Today, I ate buttery pancakes, chicken soup with rice, cinnamon tea, and so much freaken water. That's all I have to say for today! Until tomorrow!

From yours truly,
Karma Rose

P.S. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so I can go for a run. It's been a while since I've ran. I'll run like a monster is chasing me.




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