If I die today
I didnt write this morning cause I did not sleep much at at after I got a text from JK ((oshj)) responding to my what are you doing NYE saying that he just wated to be fare *yes thats how he spelled fare* to me to let me know he's dating someone so I called to calrify that bc thru text it was getting puzzling bc it said I will always be your friend and be there for you no matter what.. Anyhow I'll touch base of him after my soul purpose and vision of this diary if I die today..
If I died today please remeber what I had offered what I contrubited. Dont be overcome with heartache sadness or confusion just come to life and empower whatever it is or was weatehr in the physcial spiritual or mental just embrasse what I have had to offer you weather in item thought or deed cherish the gift.
In other news If I die I would want to to be sure JK gets the message that I am sorry I should have apologised to him I"m sorry for the times that I had been drunk and even when I had been influenced by tintures having sex with him I m sorry for taking him in under those influences and possibly not to his knowledge althou this was not every enouncounter its sorcery and I don't mess with THC anymore but it totally affected the sex life. Right now I don't think its good for me to reach out today but my thoughts at the moment are I need to apologise to him for at least that. Weather or not this thought is real if I knew I was gonna die in 2min I"d call him and say I'm sorry. Just I'm sorry for not being who he needed or who he thought I was.
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