Ad 2:
2020-12-20 23:29:16 (UTC)


Never even realized it's only four days until christmas, The only thing genuine about christmas is food, too bad we're gonna order fast food this time. They do something in your brain, the oils in there makes you go violent and wild, been oil free for a day, back to enlightenment again.
but after four days allow me to be violent and wild again, I get happier but it's not happy it's more of a rush of blood that I perceive as happiness, I think the true epitome of happiness is laughing at something absurd, it's not a feeling and I shouldn't abuse it. My cousin went to visit our homes in the weekends and i've noticed the difference with someone who has a parental guidance to someone who does not, You should always pay attention to a baby and it's need especially emotion-wise, so that they can grow up to be a normal person, We didn't really have those, I can understand, they were young and just starting their life( I hate this phrase, they gonna turn 40 now and they still think of themselves), anyways we can't really express ourselves and more of trying to be someone we're not, idk about me tho cause i'm self-aware, so do I break barriers? so I looked at my cousin and my siblings and thought "oh crap we're fucked."

I fell inlove with someone then realized I didn't really like the feeling of being inlove and feeling special
or maybe I realized I love all humans equally and don't wanna fall into someone special
They're all special, equally
so yeah I broke up with him
This emptiness has been my home and I don't really want it taken away from me
The fulfillness makes me feel e m p t y (the other term)
Also the restriction I don't like
I'm not polygamous
Just really wanna talk to people

my adhd is acting up bye