Withlove_Rishaa

Worn Memories
2020-12-20 08:19:00 (UTC)

Thoughts....

Hi diary,
Am back to disturb you. Ya know, sometimes I just sit back and think how it will feel when I'll leave this city in a few years. The thing that I know certainly is that I'll leave this city. Sometime or the other. It may be in 4years when I finish high school. I'm literally all prepared to my hometown for my college, but there are these teeny-tiny moments when I really want to reconsider my thoughts and plans. Actually, I love my city so freaking much! Kolkata was my first real love... and, we all know how pathetic leaving our first love behind is! This bright sunshine, the soft wind, the pleasant weather, everything keeps bugging me and reminding me, exactly what I will gonna be missing when I leave this city. Everyday, when I stand at the tiny balcony of our tiny two bedrooms flat, and stare at the neighborhood, rejoicing the homely feeling that the place, the my home, that my birthcity offers, I know exactly how I'll feel when I'll leave this city and go somewhere else. And the misery that I know I'll feel engulfs me, kills me, crushes my heart. I am so excited for a new beginning, for a beginning that'll only involve me, not my parents guiding me, not the society side-tracking me from my goal, but at the same time, I'm so scared! I am so afraid to leave this comfort zone, to leave this sacred shrine that guards me and protects me from all the evil that's present out there. And more than that, I am afraid if this city, this I-hold-too-many-grudges-if-you-betray-me city will ever me accept me back later if I wanna come back to my homeland and even more than that, if I'll be able to stay away from my first love, the love that never betrayed me, but I betrayed it!
I am just so scared and emotional! I am just so ready to spread my wings and explore the outer world, what the world out there has to offer, but at the same time I'm just sooo afraid to leave Kolkata, my motherland, my home, my first love!




Ad: