Subtropical Lady

Where Pelicans Fly
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2021-03-12 23:02:56 (UTC)

March 2021 (2)

FRIDAY, MARCH 12, 2021

Bupropion (Wellbutrin) has backfired on me worse than Prozac did in some ways, and while I hate to say it, I can totally see where some may see death as a bit appealing as opposed to non-stop suffering since we can only take so much, not that I’m ready to go there or anything like that. I just want to get the fuck out of here and get postmenopausal! Then I can re-evaluate.

I’ve experienced a ton of shit on this NDRI…muscle weakness, sleep issues, shakiness, fatigue, facial tingling, constipation, moodiness (agitation/anxiety/crying), panicky feeling when I took my 5th and final dose, slight chest pain, weird feeling in my mouth, worse ADD and ability to focus, and the only good one…a lack of appetite. I only ate 1000 calories which is my sweet spot for weight loss. On days I feel well, I typically have around 1300-1500.

Not much dizziness but my ear rang once, also side effects. I swear I will never take any additional medication ever again! My doctor could tell me I would die without whatever and fine, I gotta go someday anyway. The answer would be NO, NO, NO, NO!!!

Sometimes I wonder if this house is cursed. Don’t know if I believe in that sort of thing but it’s like there’s some kind of bad energy here. It’s kind of ironic that even though it took a year, just one day before our one-year anniversary of being in this house I do nothing but suffer.

I Googled this strange phenomenon and have found that many others claim to have had worse luck than usual in certain houses because it isn’t so much that the house is cursed or that it has bad karma as opposed to just bad energy. AND I happen to be about 600 feet away from a huge cemetery. We were fairly close to a cemetery and one of the places we lived in up in Oregon as well, but that cemetery had more between it and us and there were hundreds of people buried there, not over 4,000. If the previous two owners of this place suffered in any way and are connected to my own suffering, then I feel really bad for whoever gets this place next!

But what do you do? Find every previous owner of the house you may want to buy next and ask, “On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you say your degree of suffering has been in this place?”

I just miss true calmness and happiness without the medical drama, both physical and emotional. My past problems seem like nothing in comparison. I swear I would go back to the days of being crammed into that pesky landlord’s tiny dumpy trailer broke as hell to feel like my old self before I would continue on this way with lots of money. Hell, I’d gain 50 lbs to end this shit!

I know that being on lockdown hasn't helped my mental health. It may be the safest and the smartest thing to do, but even if you're the homebodies we are, you can still miss getting out more often even if it's just to run some mundane errands. But with him being older and me having AI diseases, it's not worth the risk till we're vaccinated.

I haven’t done much today due to feeling so bad other than changing the pigs’ cages, but last night we went through the file box to decide what papers to keep, what to do, and what goes with the house.

SATURDAY, MARCH 13, 2021

Still recovering and still not feeling all that great. I still have some muscle weakness, chest pain, and anxiety, of course.

Exchanged messages with Kim on Facebook yesterday and she said she’s been taking black cohosh supplements that have helped with her hot flashes and she also found it to help her mentally as well. I’m a little more willing to experiment with something OTC as opposed to harsh chemical prescriptions even though I still have a feeling I’m not meant to find what works for me. Nonetheless, I figured it couldn’t hurt to try some in the form of tea. It’s loose tea, so since I don’t have a diffuser, I got one of those mesh ball tea strainers you put loose tea in and dunk into your mug as you would a regular tea bag.

When she mentioned black cohosh, she said she did a lot of research on it and I also remembered that along with evening primrose, Stacey recommended these things in 2016. I just never bothered to try them, figuring they wouldn’t do me any good. Yet I also ordered some evening primrose teabags but they won’t be here for a while.

I’m just sick of feeling like shit day after day! I’ve been sitting here asking myself what the fuck I ever did to deserve so much suffering for so long but I’m clueless. No, I’m not a perfect person but funny how there are people out there who are pure evil that never suffer nearly to the degree I have.

Wacky hormones or not, I know being here doesn’t help. This place is nothing but planes, helicopters, traffic, and a roaring freeway that really grates on my nerves. On top of not knowing what type of projects are going to break out around me to either disturb my sleep or drive me crazy.

There’s only so much more time I can live with this. If things don’t improve after moving to Florida, I’m definitely going to kill myself. I can’t keep suffering like this. This is just way too extreme and way too often. I don’t understand why the fuck I would get so much worse all of a sudden but I can only take so much more of this shit. He still feels confident that once I’m postmenopausal and out of here and settled, I’ll be better. I asked him how he can be sure my brain didn’t “break” in some way, making this permanent, and he swears brains don’t just do that as far as suddenly up and developing some intense kind of anxiety disorder, and also feels confident because of things that have been present during the time I’ve been anxious. I wish to hell I could believe him but I have no reason not to think I’m totally hopeless. I fear I’m going to be anxious every single day if not close enough to it until I put an end to it, and death will be the only way out.

The thyroid med is making less sense even though it’s still quite a coincidence then I get anxious a week after a brand change. So yeah, it’s got to come down to hormones, the anticipation of the move, and/or me suddenly developing a permanent disorder that can’t be undone. I just hope he’s right in saying that the anxiety will one day manifest itself differently as it has in the past. Well, the type of anxiety I experienced due to something bad going on like when we were facing homelessness was definitely easier on me, as rough as it still was, than this shit has been. The worst anything would do to me in the past was disrupt my sleep and maybe give me the runs.

Years ago I would find staying up all night exciting and fun. We’re both up now and I would feel like we were on some exciting, secret mission while the rest of the world slept. Instead, I just feel anxious, frustrated, hopeless, and impatient as hell.

The fucking garbage and recycle trucks woke me up twice but I was so tired that I did manage to fall back asleep fairly quickly. I had a shitty dream involving Aly visiting me.

After I fell asleep in the dream, she decided it would be a great idea to wake me up by playfully tackling me. She startled me awake which pissed the shit out of me but I couldn’t get up off the bed as she playfully hit me because my arm was pinned under my body and I just couldn’t get leverage. It was causing excruciating pain in my shoulder and I kept telling her to back off and that my shoulder was hurting really bad!

When I was finally able to get up, I told her to pack her shit and get the fuck out.

Because I was so exhausted, I fell back asleep. When I woke up and she was gone, I sat down by my computer and found that none of the desktop icons, which mostly had my journals and stories, would work any more than anything did when I clicked things on my browser toolbar. Instead, all I got was a series of random numbers, and I knew immediately that she had hacked and sabotaged my computer. The realization that she had all my passwords and that I had no way to access the list of them since each site was different with long complex passwords I could never remember, made me feel helpless and infuriated, not that I can imagine her ever doing such a thing in real life!

SUNDAY, MARCH 14, 2021

Yesterday was the fourth day in a row of disrupted sleep. It was a fucking motorcycle this time around. OMG, I cannot wait to get out of here! But due to my not feeling well, we’ve been delayed. I knew we would be too. So I’ve resolved to really push it whenever possible. I know my schedule is part of the delay and we can’t do things like switch out windows at night, but I want us to do as much as possible as fast as possible. I want to work as if they’ll throw us in jail if we don’t! I can’t know how much of this place is playing on my anxiety until we get moved but I can definitely say that getting a bedroom that we soundproof or that’s at least further from the street, and one that’s less traveled, will definitely help.

We’re going to tackle the laundry room floor which is still filthy and a bit sticky as well as the master bedroom closet where I stupidly tried to stick extra floor tiles on the walls to try to brighten it up and make the clothes and other items stand out better against the dark paneling.

I’ve been dreading the onslaught of the motorcycle season and knew it would be anytime now. They’ll be a problem until late fall and of course year-round in Florida. Yes, the damn things are going to be an issue for the rest of my life no doubt. However, I may get a break tomorrow because we’re supposed to have another cool spell and rain.

Yesterday was shitty because I was anxious for the first 9 hours of my day. I was fine for the rest of it, especially after reading something that gave me a spark of hope. I was on a health site looking at the typical symptoms for perimenopause vs. menopause and I liked how anxiety was listed under menopause and how it said you could still experience some of those symptoms starting in perimenopause. Maybe the fact that my anxiety worsened one month shy of my one-year anniversary of being period-free wasn’t a coincidence after all. Not to get my hopes up too much but honestly, hope is all I’ve got.

The black cohosh tea came today and doesn’t taste bad at all not that I wouldn’t drink something that tasted like dogshit if it would help keep me calmer. The only thing is that the tea leaves tend to escape through where the halves of the ball strainer meet. Turned out to be no big deal, though, because the leaves mostly sink down to the bottom of the mug. No idea yet if it’s going to help with anything. I’m planning on drinking a cup early in my day and another one at the end of it.

I’m in the middle of my day now so I expect my mood to go downhill anytime now.

Today is wine day. I decided Saturdays would be when I had my one glass of wine, so I’m enjoying some white zinfandel that’s actually a pretty shade of pink.

The SPCA emailed Tom to ask if we still want to get rid of the guinea pigs, so we’re thinking they might go next week.

I finished the laundry and I’m going to try to catch up on my story writing at some point during the night. I just haven’t been able to focus on it due to how shitty I’ve been feeling. I should work out too, but I just don’t have the energy.

MONDAY, MARCH 15, 2021

Yesterday I was anxious for 4 hours instead of 9 which is an improvement but still sucks big time. Just 4 minutes of it is horrible.

I would really, really love to know just how much anxiety I would have felt these last 7 years if I’d never been on the poison which I decided to skip today. Part of me wants to quit for a couple of months and see how I do but not here in the cold weather. If I’m going to quit for a while to see if it changes anything, I want to wait until the dead of summer in Florida. Then again, I quit from August to December of 2014 and I don’t think I was much better. So I’m still not sure what to think of the med. It both makes sense and it doesn’t.

I wasn’t as bad as a couple of days ago but wasn’t great either. Had mild anxiety and depression. My appetite is still low and I’m still nowhere near as productive as I’d like to be. My mind keeps pinging back and forth between possible culprits…low thyroid, hormones, medication, things going on in life, bad energy in this area…and I just don’t know what to think or believe anymore.

Not sure if the tea is going to help.

I have mixed emotions about my appetite being down. Sure, I could afford to lose a little weight. But my appetite being down means I don’t feel well and therefore a part of me misses my appetite and looking forward to enjoying whatever meals I had planned for the day. No matter what we weigh, eating is one of life’s greatest pleasures and I definitely haven’t been doing as much of that. Maybe some of the bupropion is still in my system. I thought my appetite was back yesterday. I felt hungry so I started happily shoveling my fish dinner down but before I could finish, I felt like I might be sick.

Partly thanks to daylight savings, I got up a lot later today. Really getting sick of sleeping in chunks! No one woke me up today, but I woke up a few hours into my sleep and had trouble getting back to sleep. When I finally did, I didn’t get up until after 10 p.m. His schedule program factors in daylight savings so I’m still on track. It seems I’m always tired, anxious, or both. When I’m not anxious, I’m anxious about becoming anxious. I’m mostly calm now but I know it won’t last. Somewhere around 6-ish, the anxiety will start picking up and there won’t be a damn thing I can do about it but wait out the storm.

Starting to wonder if Virginia is ever going to come home. It’s been almost a month now. At least it’s good to know that if she does put the house up for sale soon, she can’t get out of here any faster than we can.

Forgot to mention that the black bitch in Arizona doesn’t seem to have a Facebook account anymore. If you insert someone’s name in the blocking option under Blocking, you can see accounts that have blocked you. But I didn’t see hers at all. Even so, I searched her name and blocked everyone with that name or a variation of it.

I’m really surprised she would dump her account. I mean I’m sure she’s still around under a bogus name, but I’m surprised she dumped her account and blocked me before she did. I would think she’d want me to contact her so she could have a better chance of screwing me again. Maybe she just gave up hope and blocked me so I at least couldn’t see her friends but who knows? Only the fucking bitch knows.

TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 2021

I was finally able to sleep straight through, yes! The black cohosh seems to be helping with the hot flashes. I didn’t even need to sleep with the fan on. Still can’t say whether or not it’s going to help with anxiety. Last night I was definitely more depressed and anxious. Finally took a long fake “rock out” and listened to some music, older and newer. I imagined us happily boarding a plane and getting the fuck out of here. Tears of happy anticipation came to my eyes so I can just imagine how I’ll be in real life when that day comes. Still no guarantees we’re going out of here by plane but that’s what my vibes and dreams have suggested. Also, the number 83 has been coming to mind lately. Will we get 83k for this house? Buy a house built in 1983 like this one? I have mixed emotions about that one. I’m tired of old crap and I really would love something from this millennium, but the older it is, the easier it would be to gut it to soundproof it.

After my music session, I traded in shitty emotions for pain, and believe me when I say I would rather take the pain! It started off with that pain in my upper right side of my stomach that I’ve had before and that I assume is due to a lack of fiber. Even though I had plenty of fiber yesterday, it didn’t stop right away. Then I had pain in the center of my chest before it returned to my side. Maybe just stress or pulled muscles? Only I hadn’t exercised in a few days and I’m naturally muscular, fat or not. My muscles don’t break down easily. I’ve got another decade or so before they start doing that.

This is the second and last day I’m skipping my medication and again, the medication as a culprit still makes sense and doesn’t make sense. How I do later on in my day is going to influence my opinion on that. I mean, it makes sense for obvious reasons but then why isn’t the anxiety consistent if it’s the medication? Why wouldn’t it happen every time I took it? Instead of going days or even weeks between stabbings, I’ve been worst ever since January 27th when I first felt it coming on with only a few days off since then. Yet I made several skips along the way, so I don’t know what to think. I just had to do something and give it a try, but I’ll start it back up again tomorrow.

Just for kicks, I looked up items considered to bring bad luck, and right off the bat I get a broken or stopped clock. Well, right behind me in a box headed for Goodwill, is a stopped clock.

Then I get mirrors facing the bed. Well, the mirror is on the side of the bed but it’s huge. It’s the closet doors so it runs from the floor almost to the ceiling.

Then I get rocking chairs and sure enough, there’s a small old rocking chair that was left behind that’s also in my bedroom.

Unmade bed was another thing that came up and I never make my bed. Well, rarely, anyway.

Next up was green paint. Funny because the bedroom walls are mint green.

Old brooms, open umbrellas, outdated calendars, axes, hoes, taxidermy, and dying plants were also on the list, among a few other things. Well, there was an old broom that was left here, and I’ve had issues for a while with bamboo plants dying.

I don’t know if there’s any truth to this or if it’s just silly superstition, but it definitely makes me wonder when you’ve nailed nearly half a dozen no-nos all in one room, the room I spend most of my time in since my desk is in here because it’s noisier in the living room.

Desks are one of the things along with pets, electronics, and several other things they recommend keeping out of bedrooms for better sleep. They should add not sleeping just a few feet from busy streets.

Not liking this cold spell we’ve been having. We should be starting to need the AC in the afternoons, not waking up to reports of frost warnings.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17, 2021

Here we go with the sleeping in chunks again. Slept for a few hours and was up for a few hours before I got a few more hours of sleep which barely totaled 6 hours. It took me a while to decide whether or not I wanted to take a chance of going to the doctor after being up forever after just a few hours of sleep or to take the Benadryl and know I would be groggy when I woke up but at least I would have gotten more sleep. So I took the Benadryl. I was so exhausted when I got up that I ended up napping for almost two hours after I ate, showered, and did my nails.

I just can’t perk up later in my day after sleeping shitty like I could in my younger days. The only thing that can refresh me is whenever the hell I can manage to get decent sleep and sleep straight through without doing much more than having to get up to pee and being able to fall back asleep afterward.

I hope the guy that came to our door yesterday without a mask to return mail to us that was accidentally placed in his box wasn’t a "carnivore." I don’t know exactly who it was because I just wanted to take the mail, thank him, and be done with it, but I suspect it might have been the saw cock. He did head off in that direction, but I couldn’t tell exactly where he headed once he rounded the hedges in front. The guy was skinny, and Tom describes him as a “little old man.”

The SPCA got back to us and the pigs will be surrendered Friday morning. Again, I’ve got mixed emotions about that. I’ll miss their chatter and cuteness but I’m otherwise sick of them. Too smelly, too messy, too costly. Hopefully, they’ll get a wonderful new home not that they didn’t live like kings here. We definitely spoiled these guys so I’m a little worried they won’t have the luxuries they’re used to, but I know animals do adapt a hell of a lot better than people do. We humans whine and complain and are dragged through most change kicking and screaming but animals tend to just roll with the flow.

For just a few bucks we ordered some pink cosmos seeds. I’ve always loved those along with tulips, gerberas, and others. Don’t know if we’ll still be here when they bloom since it can take a few months, but for the most part, we’re just curious to see what may happen here. If we can grow them easily enough here, we can certainly grow them in Florida. I like the idea of growing flowers and veggies there but then that would just be more work for us to have to maintain so we’ll see.

My day started off borderline anxious but ended on a much calmer note so that much is good. I still can’t say if the two days I skipped my med has anything to do with it because I did a double skip before that didn’t do me any good. These days I’m leaning toward thinking no, the med isn’t responsible for the adrenaline that stabs me in the chest in waves. The initial booming heart and shit like that, yes, but not what I’ve been going through the last half a decade with the butterflies in my chest kind of feeling.

Seeing my ENT in a few hours.

Kim was kicked out of prison yesterday after a 3.5-year stint. Let’s see if she can make it a year before she’s back in custody. I really think she actually likes being incarcerated.

THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 2021

Yesterday I was so damn tired due to having my sleep broken up into chunks and all I could think was that I hope to hell I’m not that tired on moving day. I could barely keep my head up and even my legs felt weak to stand on. A nap didn’t help either and I was still exhausted by the time I saw my ENT.

The good news is that as soon as she cleaned out my ear, which had gotten pretty bad this time around, I felt tremendously better. Even ibuprofen wasn’t helping with how achy it was. We agree that 8 months is too long and so she wants to see me in 3 months before we leave. Hopefully right before we leave anyway. I did remind her that there could be delays and we might have to flip the house ourselves but I sure hope not! She also offered to gather my records for me which would be nice. Got a little teary-eyed on her due to all the stress I’ve been under with the virus, the move, etc. and she was very understanding.

She reminded me that if I ever don’t like the way my ear looks with the way the cartilage is withering away on the outside since the “frame” collapsed when they took out the plastic piece, I could always look into prosthesis. Yeah, but my comfort is more important than how I look. I was really excited about the idea of it at first and being able to wear earrings again but when she started talking screws in the skull, I said forget it! Anyone who doesn’t like it is welcome not to look even though my hair covers it for the most part. If I were in my twenties I might consider it but not as a 55-year-old married woman who doesn’t give a shit what others think for the most part.

Anyway, I got caught up on my sleep and slept for 8 hours and 47 minutes with a sleep score of 90. Wish I could do that every day but I know myself. Next time around I’ll be up forever, wake up after a few hours of sleep, take an hour or two to fall back asleep, sleep for another few hours, then wake up exhausted. I don’t even perk up after a few hours anymore. If I wake up tired, that’s the way I stay until I can eventually catch up on sleep. I hate the way lack of sleep has become so hard on me to the point that it’s damn near debilitating.

Anxiety was mild yesterday and it’s mild so far today as well but who knows what I’ll be in for later on in my day.

Virginia must have gotten an offer on her house that she turned down because we got a card that was addressed to her although not her name, saying that the offer is still good if she’s willing to reconsider or something like that.

I’m not the least bit surprised. Broken hip or not, she’s coming up on 88 years old so I definitely can’t see her carrying on by herself in her own home. She’s definitely going to need to stay with someone from here on out. If not one of her kids, then an assisted living facility of some kind.

When we got back yesterday, I was like oh fuck! They were back to their tree-cutting obsession. But luckily, it was just a small dead tree that didn’t take long to cut down in front of Virginia’s place. Her place blocked most of the sound. I could hear the saw without things running, but they wouldn’t have woken me up over the sound machine if I was asleep at the time. I just hope they can stay out of the roads before we get out of here!

SATURDAY, MARCH 20, 2021

Oh my God, Aly is so predictable! My suspicions were correct. Not only did I suspect that she was hiding her address and info about Cam from me, assuming he truly exists, but she’s also afraid to show up on my visitor tracker for some reason.

Yesterday I sent her a link to the recipe I added to my Recipe book and asked if she thought it would be too complicated and then I thought to myself watch, she’s going to skip a day of checking in or tell me some horrible thing happened to her, she’s out of it, and she’s very sorry if she missed any questions as a way of avoiding clicking on the link.

Again I can’t help but wonder…just what is it that she’s hiding and why?!

She avoided checking in all day yesterday (no doubt in hopes of me forgetting that I asked her to check out the recipe) but was quick to tweet on her other account, “Get to know your neighbors. You never know when you’ll need them or they’ll need you.”

So later on I’ll get the sorry-I-missed-any-questions thing but I’ll be sure to remind her about it anyway. She knows she could disable tracking and still check it out but I’m guessing she doesn’t want to disable it for some reason. Or it could be that she does have it disabled so she can compare what I share with others and wouldn’t want me to wonder why she doesn’t show up on my visitor report. But I would think that would be a simple click to turn back on just long enough to check out the recipe. Whatever it is, she’s definitely afraid to share her address and IP with me and I wonder why.

When I ask her if she feels confident enough that she’ll be sticking around to give me her address so I can mail her birthday present to her (after she mentioned “signs” saying Cam’s the one) or if she’s still plagued with enough doubts that I should send it to her parents’, I’m going to really be suspicious when she tells me it’s “easier” for me to send it to her parents’.

I definitely won’t give her our future address either, even though she could look it up. It’s just that if someone doesn’t trust me, I find it very hard to trust them. Really, how is it “easier” even if it is on the way home from work? You have to stop, get out of the car, then go get it. If it’s delivered to your door you don’t have to make the extra stop, on the way or not. So unless it came on a day when she was going to stop by anyway, I don’t see the “easier” in that one.

I don’t understand why my ear is bugging me again either. It felt so much better after she cleaned it but now it’s aching and I’m left to wonder the same damn thing… Is it the ear or TMJ? Probably TMJ. Been slacking off on sleeping with my mouth guard so maybe I need to go back to that regularly. And to doing the exercises recommended for that.

So yesterday was a sad yet productive day. Took over half an hour to get to the SPCA. Slow drivers weren’t too annoying but the fucking car stereos sure were. Every single light we stopped at we had to sit and listen to the thump of bass. Might as well get used to it though because Florida is going to be worse being the warmer climate that it is. More motorcycles there too.

Unlike rats, the guinea pigs didn’t enjoy the road trip at all. Once we got there, a young woman came out and took them inside and placed them in a temporary crate. She said they wouldn’t be able to provide status updates but that they would be moved to a cage of their own and that if everything was okay when they were checked out, they would be put up for adoption right away. I’ll check their Small Animals section on their website and see if they show up. Right now, all I see are 4 rabbits up for adoption.

The girl made things a little easier by taking their supplies and the cage too, so at least some things won’t go to waste. It would be cool if one of the pigs was adopted in the cage so at least that much would be familiar to them even though they’ve been living in the rat cage for quite a while. Still, if some other animal could use it, great. Goodwill would have taken it but this makes things a little easier on us this way.

It’s so weird not hearing Rockefeller’s screaming or at least his incessant chatter when I go out in the living room or kitchen. Also, glancing over at the cage and seeing it so empty. The cage will be stored in the shed later to wait for the next bulk pickup.

Almost ran out of charge on the way back because we left the car running while we were turning over the pigs. We got back with 3 miles to spare. Then he immediately gave it some juice in case we suddenly had to go somewhere and then put it back on its timer to charge after midnight when it’s cheaper.

The best part of yesterday was that despite the sadness of having to surrender the pigs, I didn’t feel even the slightest hint of anxiety. :-) A delayed reaction from the pill skips? The black cohosh tea? Something else? I’m just loving it while it lasts because I know the anxiety will eventually return to haunt me. It always does. I would have to go over half a year before I could even begin to think that maybe it was done torturing me.

I got to treat myself with $30 of free Uber Eats credit yesterday and some Chinese food I had delivered. Took an hour and a half to get here since they were having trouble finding a driver which was kind of ridiculous. But over the next few days (since they give you so much), I’ll be enjoying fried crab meat cheese wontons, egg drop soup, Peking ribs, and egg fried rice. He hates Chinese, so it’s all for me.

Another good thing is that this is the third day in a row that I slept well and didn’t wake up exhausted. We haven’t planted the cosmos yet so I guess we’ll be doing that later on. Tom left me a message saying he woke up for a while so he may sleep in. Guess it’s his turn to experience sleeping in chunks. Only he’s tougher than me. I doubt he’ll be nearly as exhausted as it makes me.

I know I’ve been having a lot of dreams but they’re never enough to be able to put into words. Oh well.

I don’t think I’m going to continue with coloring shampoo because it just doesn’t cover the gray well and is hard to distribute evenly because the stuff is so thick compared to traditional permanent dye. I love how soft it makes my hair but since I’m probably going to keep my hair to my shoulders, I can afford to fry it a bit with dye since I’ll be trimming it regularly, every 6 months or so.

Been on a drilling frenzy and have gotten a lot of the diamond painting I’ve been working on done over the last few days. The more energy I have, the more I do.

While it’s easy for me to be pissed that we’re late with getting the house on the market, I also realize how very important getting vaccinated is before we hop on a plane and go anywhere. We both registered online and he thought he would be able to get vaccinated sooner for being obese but he’s not fat enough, according to him, lol. His BMI is 37 and it would have to be at least 40 to be bumped up sooner. So he’s a big boy but not quite big enough, and of course I’m nowhere near getting bumped up and not even my types of AIs qualify me to get in sooner. I just hope Biden is correct in saying everyone in the country will be vaccinated by May, that it’s effective, and that we don’t suffer any scary side effects from it.

Looks like I got my wish where Virginia’s concerned. She’s not back yet but I’ve always hated it when they leave their garage lights on because the one closest to us is annoying when I walk into the kitchen. It’s right at eye level and goes right through the lace valance in the window easily. The other day I was wishing they would burn out or at least the one closest to us would, and that’s exactly what happened. When I first went into the kitchen when I got up, I thought she was back and the single light I was seeing was actually coming from the kitchen window but nope. The light closest to us burned out.


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